Oh yeah, this makes so much sense to me.
I wrote up a draft. If I try to imagine being in her shoes... I am just now sure how to communicate it. I went back and listen to the session. I thinks he really thinks that by asking questions she is giving suggestions. She told me at the end she gave me suggestions but her suggestions were actually all phrased as questions. I don’t hear suggestions. “Is your safe imaginary house in the woods or by the breach?” I mean yeah ok so maybe that’s a suggestion. I sound like a neurotic fool.
Wow!!!
Your c comment reminded me of a feeling I had when I started therapy.
My old therapist used to say “I am wondering…”
“Just my feeling, could be true or not…”
“Is it possible….”
All very wishy washy way of talking. It took me a lot of reading of therapy book, to get what kind of talk this is. This how therapy talks when they want to say something very deep but are afraid to create resistance in you! It is like I will say what I really think but I will not put it strongly just in case you are not ready to hear it. Basically a therapist who talks like this is assuming that you are not to hear the interpretation!
There are a lot of books (heavy in theory) that teach you how a therapist talks. It helps cause if they assume you are stupid, they treat you as such (is this a core wound for me) maybe…but I need to understand the reality. It is a form of talk. It is not about you.
I think she put them as questions, so you can take them as yours since you answer them. You would have felt like wow! I solved my problem rather than she is practically solving it for you.
They call this sort of therapy talk – clarifying or reality checking. It is kind of manipulative and I am surprised after couple years, she is resorting to this level.
Usually this is how a therapist may approach you before you know you well. By now, as you are desperately asking, she should level with you!
I think she is not reading you or acknowledging you are integrating and this is frustrating now rightfully so!