How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

[Deleted member 93]

Hope everyone feels better soon! Sorry about the tooth I know it sucks. And sorry about the mom thing (for both). Hell, I am unsure which is worse a really bad tooth or pain in the ass mom.

Slowly wading my way back out of relapse and learning no matter how far you go it does not take much to fall flat on your face for a while.

Looking forward to Summer to get out of the house alone and no kids. Never thought I would want out but I do now! Must be a step in the right direction to not want to hole up in my home.

Have been hearing gun shots in town but finally saw it was just the damn track team... But still scared me shitless.

All my flowers are booming and I cut my tulips and put them in a vase today. And we have had nice warm weather to suddenly it was snowing today. Go figure!

 

[YoungAndAngry]

'lil brother is down for the weekend
He just better not be expecting the Easter Bunny to come, ;)

My days have been up, and down, and all around.

 

[kers]

Was at the dentist today and now my jaw is sore. My house is a mess but I can't find the energy to clean it. I've been off work for a week but not gotten any of the work I brought home done. I feel overwhelmed.

 

[moki]

Had my first great day in ages...

Yes, it was fantastic! I went to work, then to cranial/sacral massage, then to the DMV to get my motorcycle license (WAY fun to see people's reaction when I tell them I'm getting a motorcycle license; I am a regular looking mom and they're always surprised), then to the movies (pans labyrinth) with my 18 yr. old son.

Why was this day really so great! You might cringe when I say it, but it's because my husband went out of town and won't be back until Monday. I cannot even begin to tell you how relaxed that makes me feel. No, he's not a bad guy and still loves me, but is my trigger for childhood stuff.

AND...ran into a guy I know and his son, and the guy told me I looked great and very youthful! Wow, that totally got me walking on cloud nine!

Also had some breakthroughs in therapy as to why my husband is my trigger; this will come in handy in marriage counseling. The things I had to do to survive the bad childhood stuff is the behavior I still use which is, of course, sabotaging my relationship with my husband. Awareness is the beginning, right?

:smile:

 

[GR-ass]

Well good point of today was that my sweety rang to make sure I was coping.

It was a nice thing to do, he knows how anxious I getr over weekends.

Finally have gotten my mouthguard comfortably moulded to my mouth, makes a lot of differance to wake up without a throbbing jaw.

Hmms, slipped into a dissassociative state the other day/ night. I sliced open my upper arm and didn't realise it. Pisses me off that not only do i get dissacosiative but I freaking well cut while away *grrs and heads keyboard*

Bloody hell, can't a girl get a ****ing break?

 

[Rob T.]

I think I messed up.

I'm doing a lot of venting.

POSSIBLE TRIGGERS in this post.

I started reading another forum's posts. I forgot to emotionally shield myself before reading that forum. My giant mistake. ok, I'm probably an oversensitive nitwit. Ick.

I went into another forum and started reading about other people's traumatic experiences, and now I'm really in an upset state. ok, I was reading about people's good days, forgetting that some of the days in that thread are really bad days. I'm probably punishing myself for not being more helpful. I had read about people who had been sexually assaulted and others who had been knocked out. I think I tried to take on their unhappiness to relate to them. Which emotionally overwhelmed me. I tried to do too much. I wanted to write responses to those people. I was too scared. I thought my responses might be wrong and that my posts would hurt them.

I'm shaking, I'm frightened, but my bad feelings are my fault. I knew reading these posts could startle me. I read them anyway. Ever knock out a deer with your car? It was at night, I couldn't see the thing until this 6 ft deer was 3ft in front of my bumper. There's a Christopher Walken film. He is in a dictactor's country. he takes a photo of a top secret building [he knows that his taking the photo is illegal]. He goes to his hotel room. He wakes up and sees 3 soldiers about to beat him with baseball bats. he covers his face with his arms and yells: wait!! wait!!
That's how it felt like for me to hit a deer in a compact car. That's how I feel now.

Sorry folks. I probably shouldn't have vented here. I'm taking some min.s to calm down. I forgot to protect myself before reading other trauma posts. my fault. I left myself wide open , read about other people who were knocked out and wanted to run up to them and comfort them in my arms, and ripped open lots of the doors on my own traumas-and emotionally flooded myself. I'll cool down. I am cooling off. It's possible for me to have my emotions in two arm slings, yet still want to help people that I probably can't right now. I feel guilty for messing up and then venting about it. I feel guilty for not being to help people. What did they tell you about trying to eat elephants Rob?.....start small. [I'm joking]. I hope I wasn't offensive to anyone. What did the cop say to the man who tried to lift the empire state building + steal it?....I admire you're trying to do something that big. [I'm Joking again]. Thanks everyone for the chance to vent here tonight. Thanks for listening folks.

Have a Good Day, Rob

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Rob, venting is exactly what this thread was created for.
It wouldn't be realistic for everyone to always have a good day.
If you feel great, say it, if you feel like shit, say it!

We cannot take away someones pain,
but we can listen, understand, and just be there for the person.


My day has been numb.
Thank goodness, 'cause I don't want to feel right now
I just want calmness

Always remember to take care of yourself!
Y&A

 

[piglet]

I went into another forum and started reading about other people's traumatic experiences, and now I'm really in an upset state. ok, I was reading about people's good days, forgetting that some of the days in that thread are really bad days. I'm probably punishing myself for not being more helpful. I had read about people who had been sexually assaulted and others who had been knocked out. I think I tried to take on their unhappiness to relate to them

Hey Rob,

Take it easy on yourself. I've experienced the same thing - in fact it got so bad that I don't visit here so much. It's something I need to work on - empathising with people I identify with, without taking on their trauma as my own. Like I don't have enough already!!!

I used to get very upset that I found myself unable to post responses to others' posts. I have been told, probably a hundred times that I shouldn't feel bad about it. I am getting better at that - partly because the forum is so huge now that it is impossible to keep up with every post.

How am I doing today? Not bad. Sleep has gone right out the window, but I'm not worrying about it - basically because I have a week of vacation time, so it doesn't matter if I'm tired.

I have a very sore backside (sure you all want to know!). I got my bike out yesterday and cycled 10 miles. I don't think I'll be able to sit on my bike for at least a month!!!

The sun is shining and I bought a freezer for my flat, so I can fill it up with ice-cream - yum! Ben&Jerrys here I come!!!!

 

[Rob T.]

Thanks YoungAndAngry, thanks piglet,

Thank you for your replies. Thanks for letting me know about trying to help others, and how to refrain from trying to help + when reading a lot of ptsd posts can really get to much for me. I had wound myself up so much about trying to help people + reading about their unhappy experiences-that If I hadn't vented them on [the each day is different thread] I probably would have curled up into a ball on the couch and not slept at all. So I'm Glad I vented yesterday.

Thank you for your replies-they really helped me feel better about what I tried to do yesterday. I really do feel better.

Thank You,
Rob

 

[becvan]

Rob, if it bothers you too much, don't read it!

I generally stay out of the trauma diaries, as I just can't handle it. Many of us will avoid triggering threads. It's a-okay.

Do what you need to do, for you.

bec

 

[GR-ass]

well, got through easter without freaking

am currently attacking my bunny *coff* white chocolate. Yays for the sugar high

 

[goingonhope]

Long, and tiring at times, but GOOD !