Relationship Hubby Is Jealous And Resents Me - But I Am Doing All What I Can :o(

[Sunshine71]

Hi there wonderful people

Hubby said somethings that I am concerned by....

He doesnt like himself at all....

He feels that he is not getting better......

He then said that he doesnt own anything - The house is mine and so is the car...

Over the years he hasnt been great with finances - I deal with them all.... However I cant do things around the house and we have always gone half on bills etc....

After the hit and run car accident he hasnt been able to work - and I have had to fight for everything - any bit of support, doctors, counselling - he has focused on a new career and getting better.....

It hurts as I have stood by him, and tried to keep our family going - instead of thinking thats a good thing he seems to resent it and resents me trying to get on.... He even seems jelous at times....What am I supposed to do? Not support him? Not try to sort out nice things like meals and trips (we cant afford these so I do reviews so we dont have to pay - I write for some lovely magazines) but he seems to be envious although I am sorting this for good things for us as a couple/ or as a family....

He just says that he cant think and doesnt want to be this way ... but he is....

I try my best - but it doesnt seem to be the answer :O(

As always I welcome any thoughts...

Much love Sunshine x

 

[Toria]

It could be a man-thing as much as a PTSD thing. The male pride is easily hurt and if he sees that you are supporting the family financially he probably thinks that is something he should be doing but can't and the more he can't the more he resents it = vicious circle.

I am sure he is grateful, just hurting. Perhaps it's a way of encouraging his business? If he sells photos then he can take you out.

 

[Taven Carlsen]

I've had this "man-thing" and Toria's right - it's a self esteem problem. However I am also concerned as you are Sunshine, by his self-negating thinking - self-negating behavior/thinking isn't suicidal but it is edging in that direction. Sounds like he hasn't said so but if he's 1) being resentful followed by 2) talking in that self-negating way it's probably part of the reason, IOW it sounds like he feels bad about not working but also bad about being difficult with you. If he's going to be stubborn he may not just admit to being wrong about things.

That's me reading the leaves anyway. The more he does even if it's not financially useful, even if it's not useful at all just something, the better.