First off, you need to set some boundaries. As an example: I will not allow anyone to physically hurt me. You are not allowed to throw things at me. Then have him set some boundaries on what you can and cannot do. For example: you cannot ask me about what happened XYZ. Don't tell me you'll never leave me. (the reason for this is because that is making a promise you don't know you can keep, no matter how much you love a person). Don't touch me unless you tell me your going to.
If a boundary is crossed, there must be consequences. Each person is held accountable for what they do. For example: If you don't get help for XYZ, then I'm not staying in the house with you. I will not be able to sleep with you if you XYZ. Then, you follow through by either leaving for an hour or more, or whatever it is that you've set up as the punishment for whatever.
Second, try to understand that it's hard for someone with a trauma background to share horrible things with someone who has not been there. We fear you won't understand why we did what we had to do in order to survive.
Now you might feel that you could take it for him, but trust me, you might not be able to.
Does this make sense to you?
