General Husband Takes Frustration Upon Me!

[simplyme]

Ok everytime my husband gets frustrated about the things going on around him he takes it out on me. Not in an abusive way just in a really annoying way, like a snippy teenage girl annoying.
When it got to a boiling point today he says he doesnt know he is doing it. But sometimes i just want to yell at him at the end of the fight when he apologizes. "Your not sorry if you keep doing it!"
We just moved outa state so we have to get him back in to a new VA, and all that stuff. So he can start thearapy again. There is one out here that he talked to previously that he really likes. Its just getting him motivated to start the va stuff again. :wall:
for a military man he is lazy.

 

[KCKristi]

I love your little smiley guy - banging his head against the brick wall....I feel like doing the same thing so many times.

My DH is the same as you described. He gets upset about something and then takes his frustrations out on me (not violently). Just a couple days ago his daughter called to say she was pregnant (she's 22 and still lives with her mom, not married). He was upset about this and he saw one of my boys leave a gum wrapper on the van seat and told me to tell him to pick it up (he won't tell them what to do because he's afraid they won't like him), he argued with me all night about how my kids should know by now to clean up after themselves and how he can't live like this. Our house is not a sterile environment, but it's not a pig-sty either. I told him to not take his frustrations out on me when he's really mad at his daughter. He blew up and said he wasn't doing that and then went into a good 20 minutes about how my kids are old enough to know better, the only reason they leave clothes on their floor is because of bad parenting, and how simple it is to teach them, and how he couldn't believe I'm making it into such a big deal. Of course, he ended his argument saying he couldn't live this way and he would be fine on his own. I said nothing, because I know where it's coming from, but it still hurts our relationship - he then got mad and said I was blowing him off. But if I were to say anything about him blowing this out of proportion, he would have had more fuel to his fire. This is a vicious circle we have gotten into and I really don't know how to stop it.

We are in counseling together (he is in counseling for PTSD, and he has started a new magnetic therapy program)....I just keep praying. Our counselor says he does this because feelings of not being in control. She said living in a constant state of alertness (in war time), has taught him how to live, and he now is home and still trying to live in this constant state of alertness. He needs to feel like he is in control of his environment, and when he feels things are getting out of control - he gets scared/angry. I guess I just don't know how to deal with it when he gets scared/angry, because I'm sorry, but you can't have control of 100% of everything that happens in your life. Oh, I could go on and on and on - as I'm sure we all could. But I won't bore you all, I just wanted to vent a little.

 

[Vickym]

I know this all too well. Through some counceling at the Va I have been told since I am the one closest to him I am going to get the worst of his bad days. My kids can come home from school one day and things are fine the next they can't do anything right. Only if I would have tought them at a younger age. Inside I'm like yeah ok that easy hmm I think not. 95% of the time its not even the kids or I that caused his anger but he finds a way to make it seem like its something we did. I take the bad with great. When its bad I look back at the great moments and try to hang on to them.