recoveringfromptsd
Diamond Member
My hypervigilance is rooted in one foundation event, and then all that followed. When I was at that camp run by that group with the acronym EHS, they would not even get us basic care for things like stomach aches, or refilling inhaler prescriptions, I had a day there I was sick to my stomach, and they refused to go into bridgeton to get me anything for it, there was another who had asthma and they would not go into bridgeton for him until they had to go for something else, because he would needed to be seen by a doctor first because the prescription had to be from an in state doctor.
When I complained about needing something for my gut, I found myself in another brownsdale hold, that other kid tried to take up for me, and find himself in one of their browndale holds too. Because taunting is part of their browndale approach, this kid like me was made to be more upset, to the point he started to have an asthma attack, yet they continued the taunting, this kid eventually passed out, only then did they let him loose, to me that is a moment of medical emergency, but nothing was done, he did eventually regain consciousness, but he was lucky, he could have easily died. It was half an hour to bridgeton the closest rescue squad, and CPR was not mainstream like it is today.
It was at that moment early on that I realised I might not make it out of that camp or any ehs place alive. since then I have always had a distrust of people, and circumstances around me, partly because I might suffer at the hands of others or cease to exist. Ironic given there have been times in the past I wanted or tried to cease to exist (not the case today), but BY MY OWN HANDS. In my hypervigilance it is about what happens at the hands of others.
It was only yesterday, I was able to finally talk about it with my therapist.
When I complained about needing something for my gut, I found myself in another brownsdale hold, that other kid tried to take up for me, and find himself in one of their browndale holds too. Because taunting is part of their browndale approach, this kid like me was made to be more upset, to the point he started to have an asthma attack, yet they continued the taunting, this kid eventually passed out, only then did they let him loose, to me that is a moment of medical emergency, but nothing was done, he did eventually regain consciousness, but he was lucky, he could have easily died. It was half an hour to bridgeton the closest rescue squad, and CPR was not mainstream like it is today.
It was at that moment early on that I realised I might not make it out of that camp or any ehs place alive. since then I have always had a distrust of people, and circumstances around me, partly because I might suffer at the hands of others or cease to exist. Ironic given there have been times in the past I wanted or tried to cease to exist (not the case today), but BY MY OWN HANDS. In my hypervigilance it is about what happens at the hands of others.
It was only yesterday, I was able to finally talk about it with my therapist.
