Sufferer Hypervigilance/teasing

[ten]

I was diagnosed with PTSD a few weeks ago. I saw a psychologist because my anxiety was keeping me from work. -I feel like less of a person when I admit that sometimes I'm too anxious to go outside- I can only describe it as that feeling you get when you watch a horror movie and the music gets eerie...you're on edge because you know that something is about to jump out; that tense, hyper aware feeling, like there's electricity thrumming in your veins. That's what I feel when I can't leave my home. When I'm having an "episode" even the phone ringing sets me off.

Sudden noises, even soft noises, unexpected movement startle the hell out of me and my "friends"/co-workers think that it's great fun. My heart goes berserk, sometimes I'll yelp, my eyes will water (tears will stream down my face), drop what I'm holding, jump, I've run before, I've run dead into things before and when this is happening it feels like a jolt to my system. If the startle is bad enough my vision goes black or I lock up and tip over (this has happened three times)...hitting the ground snaps me out of it. Everyone gets a great laugh...except me...

I went to school with a guy that would tell me that he's going to startle me in three minutes, always three. Even though i knew it was coming, even when I watched the clock and knew that he was walking my way to yell in my face I couldn't stop the reaction. I was walking out of the bathroom, on my way to class one day, and he jumped out at me, i locked up completely and fell backward. Hit my head on the tile floor. Everybody thought it was hilarious. I avoid the hell out of these people to this day.

It's difficult to make people understand.

I'm beginning to have the same problems with co-workers and I don't know how to make people understand without telling them that I have a disorder.

 

[p-no]

Hello ten, and welcome to the forum! :)

I think you will be understood by many here (I am one of them). Just have a look around when you can. There are also quite a few threads on startle responses, on how to control our reactions better, etc.

I am sorry you have to go through this even at work. I have that, too, people teasing me to get a response out of me and them seemingly sucking it all in for their joy. You don't have to give them any reasons as to why you want them to stop, but I think you should tell them to stop doing it because you don't like it and tell them it is not funny and very inappropriate behaviour at work. I did this, unfortunately it didn't work. Then I withdrew more from those who did it and that had some effect in that they slowly lost interest. Maybe you can pick out a person or two who behave well or neutral toward you and could increase the contact with them, by just simple things, saying hi or dropping an occasional line when passing by.

Also, when you know they will come by to startle you, notice it, get up (don't think about it) and go to the bathroom. Stay there a bit. Or ask them something about work that will catch them off guard ("startling" them before they can get active).

If that doesn't work, I'd give them a last warning and tell them I'd speak to the supervisor (if applicable). Then follow up. It's assertiveness work. You can also find a lot on that on here.

I hope I am not overwhelming you with all this.

Again, welcome.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[Sick of Fear]

I'm so sorry that you have been dealing with not only extreme anxiety, but also bullying. You don't owe anyone an explanation, and if I were you I'd file a formal complaint about each and every one of them. I hope you find comfort in this forum, as we are all in this fight together.

 

[WillThereBeCake]

Welcome Ten! You are in good company here. Many, if not most of us can totally relate to what you described. What is horrible is the people you are dealing with. I would tell them ONCE, "Hey, I know you all think this if funny, or cute, or whatever, but it causes me sincere anxiety and sometimes physical pain. What you are doing is wrong and cruel and it WILL stop now!"

I just wish people would grow the heck up. Mean people suck!

 

[Emily The Strange]

Hi and welcome.

I to have a problem with a hightened startle reflex and general hypervigilance so I can relate to what you have written. I have had similar probelms with people in my work place who think its really funny to sneak up on me. It didn't last very long in my case though as I tend to lash out if people do startle me. I can't help it but a few got hit once or twice, they soon learnt.

I'd say the best thing to do would be to warn them that you don't like it, it's inappropriate and you'd like it to stop and if they don't listen you will take it further at work. You must follow it up though. As previously said it is bullying and it's wrong, you shouldn't have to put up with it.

Good luck standing up to the and I hope it soon stops.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Ten,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

You have received some great advice about dealing with co-workers who find it "funny" to startle you. I hope you continue to find the information and support here beneficial as you work on healing.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[LhasaLover]

Hi Ten,

Welcome I am new to this forum but not new to PTSD! I deal with struggling to get out of the house as well. It is a process for me to get out of the house. I am in "frozen" mode and do not even realize it. It drives me utterly mad as I do not like being late, unprepared and/or flustered. The other day, anxiety won and I did not leave the house to go to a meeting after a stressful weekend. How ridiculous is that? Once I am out I generally do well however it can overwhelm me and my hyper startle kicks in. People do not seem to pick up on it, but it is embarrassing for me as I know exactly what it is. I've had anxiety forever it seems... but now having a label on it has opened up a new world. It's difficult in social situations, but at work it may be good to just tell people it's too distracting. And well, acquaintances, perhaps let them know that you have tired of it and need to move on if you are to socialize with them. Honestly, what they are doing is not withing good boundaries. It cannot be good for you to have people have you jumping out of your skin regularly and for you to be now expecting it. Sometimes going with the flow is easy at first but then turns out to be a burden. Letting people know that you need to focus and not flip you out sounds very reasonable. It really does not surprise me how oblivious/ignorant people can be. I knew someone who did this to his dog, a dog, without PTSD and it made the dog have severe anxiety. He admitted what he did and I just thought, how could you be so stupid? You would probably be a lot happier not having people startle you. I'm all for humor, but there is a time and place for it. There's also a point when it becomes un-funny and annoying. Good luck!

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)