Supporter I Am So Glad To Have Found You All!

[Grateful Greg]

My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years has ptsd which reared it's ugly head six months into our relationship, long after I had fallen madly head over heals in love with her. At first neither of us knew what was happening, we were frightened and confused (we still are much of the time) but after finding the diagnosis and reading about ptsd we are beginning to make progress in healing. Ptsd stole my girlfriend and placed her in hell. I could barely stand to watch her suffer. Now, after 2 years of dealing with all of the symptoms, ptsd has stolen my life and placed me in a kind of hell as well. I have realized that if I'm going to support her I have to be much stronger and learn as much about ptsd as possible. The more I learn about ptsd (for me the scientific/medical causes has been especially helpful) the easier it is to cope with the angry outbursts, 15 hour screaming sessions and a tongue that cuts like a knife. Intimacy is the hardest part, and I am looking forward to many discussions here with other supporters regarding intimacy and coping with the confusing anger/hatred/rage that comes at me sometimes, even though I know she loves me. Anyone who has suggestions for books or media, anything, regarding ptsd and especially healing please write. Thank you and good luck to everyone

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Is she in treatment? I am a bit concerned that after 2 years she is still having 15 hour screaming episodes. To be honest, this sounds abusive to me. No, we aren't responsible for getting PTSD but we are responsible for our recovery. Is she seeing a trauma therapist and psychiatrist? Are you setting firm boundaries with her about what is acceptable behavior and what is not?

Welcome to the forum.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Grateful Greg,

Welcome to the forum!

Check out the Supporters section as I believe you will find a lot of helpful information and support for yourself. I agree with Solara that a 15 hour screaming session would be hard for anyone to take. The thing is, you do not have to stand for behavior like that. Set some boundaries for yourself within this relationship and share them with your girlfriend. It is up to her to seek the help that she needs and to learn to manage her own PTSD. It is also up to you to make the choices to keep yourself healthy physically, mentally and emotionally.

Debbie

 

[Grateful Greg]

Thank's Solara and intothelight for your replies. I am just beginning to understand ptsd so communicating with my suffering lover is extremely difficult and so much different than when we used to have normal conversations. If I mention how I feel it causes her guilt which turns to anger which keeps snowballing and picking up speed and intensity. I don't yet know how to communicate things such as abusive behavior or boundaries, but I am not going to give up on this person because I know and can see all of the good and beauty she has to offer the world, and I want her back. Even if our relationship can't weather this hell, I could not live happily knowing that she is walking through life suffering and continuing to cause herself harm. We are on a very limited income and she has no insurance at this time so finding help is tough. A nurse suggested talking to a rape crisis center and I think that will be our next step and may be able to find some help through them. Up until about a month ago she was dissociating constantly and pretty much could not function rationally at all, but something clicked when we tried a mindfulness technique I found in a book and now she is in reality but reality is harder for her than outer space was. She just wont/can't seem to utilize the books as I do, but I was encouraged that one try at mindfulness seemed to yield positive results. At this point though, I am hanging from a thread emotionally and I am feeling self pity much of the time and I know that makes things worse for both of us so I am desperately trying to toughen my skin and keep things in proper perspective. Thank's much.

Grateful Greg

 

[Never Give Up]

@Grateful Greg - I think if you hang out in the "supporter" related forums you will see you are not alone in this. There are many of us out there that are new to the PTSD world and are seeking ways to cope with our loved ones. I would encourage you hang out on these forums and get familiar with how people handle a situation or scenario. You will recognize very soon that there is nothing you can do to fix the other person unless they are willing to get help. I see that she is wanting help so you have HOPE that she can adapt back into society and not spiral down the despair pole of life.

I do not know of any books that would help. There are some youtube videos you can watch about PTSD but there are so many different ways to get to this point which makes each case so unique. I will be following you while on the forum. Best of Luck and Never Give Up!