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I broke up with my boyfriend

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Star76

Hi,
I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago because I suddenly realised I deserved more and better (my friends have been telling me this since October) I feel awful that I hurt his feelings like I know it was the right thing to do but I now feel so so alone and abandoned in the big scary world when I was with him it gave me an ounce of stability and now that’s gone and I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared of the world I just want to curl up and hibernate for a year (possibly a bit over dramatic I know!). I’m just looking for some reassurance and support.
Thanks I’m advance x
 
Making big changes is difficult. I am glad you did something you felt was in your own interest. It is hard when you care about someone to do something that is not going to feel good for either of you. So I understand how you feel. But doing what is best for you is doing what is best for both of you in the long term. Glad you made the decision for yourself.
 
now feel so so alone and abandoned in the big scary world when I was with him it gave me an ounce of stability and now that’s gone and I don’t know what to do

I'm proud of you. It is a hard thing to do what you just did...but you know it was the right thing for you. That is really important, as is dealing with the way you feel now. You will come out of this a stronger healthier person.

Staying with the wrong person at best...is a disservice to you and him. At worst...it can be a DV situation. Not putting yourself first, learning to stand on your own feet feeling secure and safe...well speaking from experience it can keep you in a very bad place.

And you can lose years to a less than optimal relationship or years to a debilitating one.

So that is the pep talk :-) but I'm serious. Now for handling the post break up willlies....time to make a list of what freaks you out from the big to the little stuff and then come up with a counter, a salve, a plan :-)

It is all very doable and some of it is just setting with the icky feeling...what is it about? Talk with your friends, here, there will be loads of comfort and advice.

Stay strong, you will feel differently in not so distance future and a time will come where you wondered what the fuss was all about.

Relationships end for a reason, trust your instinct, it doesn't let you down.

Best,

Whirlwind
 
I know it was the right thing to do but I now feel so so alone and abandoned in the big scary world when I was with him it gave me an ounce of stability and now that’s gone

Oh, I know how this feels. I broke up with someone I'd been seeing and I thought I was going to die. I was scared and alone and very sure I could not make it, even though I knew it was the right thing to do.

It took some time, but I got to a point where I felt very good on my own. I started occupying my time with the things I didn't have time for when I was seeing him and with a hobby or two I hadn't done in a long while. He gradually dropped off my radar.

I know this is hard. Be good to yourself and give yourself time to readjust to the world without him.
 
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