I Can Hardly Remember...

[HorseChick]

I was raped when I was about 19 yrs old. I totally blame myself for doing something stupid. I tell myself over and over, what an idiot I was. The thing is...as hard as I try to remember what happened, I only have a bit that will pop into my mind. Does this happen to others?

I know what happened, I just can't remember it.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Horsechick,

I ma sorry you had this experience. It is really hard when you carry blame and self doubt. It is rarely justified.

Regards
Lucy x

 

[Nyx]

Yes, it does happen. It's a normal reaction to trauma. The brain is trying to protect you. Take it slow and be patient with yourself.

 

[HorseChick]

My husband asked if I wanted to go to a movie tonight but it's a weekend and too many people are there. I can't sit in a theater, in the dark, knowing men are close to me. Now I can see it has to do with being raped. I didn't know why I felt like this and always thought I was nuts.

 

[Nyx]

You are not nuts, you are coping. I really can relate to the feeling you are going crazy while the world goes on in its usual way.. But that's just our overwhelmed brains talking. You're on your way and doing good, you've began to make some connections that will help you with the processing. Care for yourself in the process.

 

[endlessocean]

Yes, it's quite frequent to repress memories. It is the minds way of coping, and now that you are in a place where you are conscious and aware of what's going on, and making connections to how you feel in relation to the rape, you can seek some professional help if you want to and get extra support. I am hoping you realize that what happened was not your fault.