I Can't Even Talk Right Now

[FindingMyself88]

Your therapists supervisor won't let you bring a psychiatric service dog? Ugh.

Well I just talked to my T a few minutes ago about the Bristol situation. She said they are suppose to have a board meeting about this eventually and they do have some people (clients and therapist) that are afraid of dogs. I started to tell her about the ADA, but then she said that she also thinks right now with us getting ready to start EMDR, it would not be best to have Bristol there. She said that emotions are going to come up with EMDR and that would obviously make Bristol respond, which would interfere with the process of EMDR. This part I can understand.

Overall I do feel safe with my T, so it's not an issue for me, but for Bristol. She is so use to going everywhere with me already that she gets separation anxiety, has Lizzie ever had that @Justmehere ? I am going to try leaving her in my room today with one of our other dogs and some of her toys and see how that goes.

 

[Justmehere]

That's makes sense to leave her behind when doing EMDR.

Separation anxiety can develop in service dogs quite often and it's super good to work on early on. I'm part of an owner-trainer service dog group and people there wrestle with it time to time.

There will always be times where for one reason or another, it's best to leave the dog behind. It could even be something where the dog needs a procedure at the vet. I intentionally leave Lizzie behind at least a couple times a week and I often choose to not let her sleep on my bed but in her kennel in another room some nights. (Dog behaviorists a say sleeping on the bed increases separation anxiety and I have found this to be true for Lizzie too.) it seems to break any really bad separation anxiety and helps her be much more at ease and flexible about it not always being with me. It doesn't reduce the healthy bond with me, just helps her know she is ok without me too.

There have been times where I tell her to go to her kennel and I don't leave, or I just leave for 5 minutes, and that helps too.

 

[FindingMyself88]

@Justmehere Thank you for the advice!

Yeah I figured it would be common, because of the fact that they go everywhere with us 95% of the time. So maybe it is a good thing she can't go with me to therapy, it's just an hour long. I did start a few days ago with leaving her in my room with toys while I went into the living room. Mainly at the time because of the family issue. Whenever she would whine I would say "Bristol calm" but not go in. Today I am going to try to leave her in my room with one of our other dogs to see how that does.

I need to invest in a kennel when I can afford one. Right now I don't think it would be a good idea to separate from her at night because of the degree of my nightmares. It has gotten so bad that my doctor today put me back on muscle relaxers because my neck and shoulders are hard as rocks and it is causing my migraines to return. So having her to wake me up and do some grounding with me does help.

Tuesday she pitched a fit until my dad let her in the living room with him then she eventually calmed down, although he said she went back and forth between our front and back door. In two weeks we are going to a family reunion, but she will be staying at my dad's during the day because I don't feel comfortable letting her roam freely at my Uncle's while we are out on the boat and one of my Aunt's is allergic to dogs, so she can't go with us. Thankfully she hasn't destroyed anything, she just whines and stresses without me :(.

 

[Justmehere]

It sounds like you are on the right path and doing a lot of good things. There is some benefit to leaving her behind after all. She gets to be trained in knowing it's ok when you leave :)

My pup had really bad separation anxiety at first. Whining, barking, tearing up her blanket... She did it all. I worked with a dog behaviorist at a local service dog agency that trains dogs for PTSD. They taught me about "extinction bursts." Dogs will do a behavior more and more at first - this is to be expected. But, of they get zero response, they will do it until they just stop, for good. The behavorist told me to praise the dog like crazy when they finally stop the behavior. Like when a dog barks and barks, if they get no response, even no "stop" response then they will at first bark more, and when that doesn't work, they will stop. Then if the stopping gets lots of praise, the dog learns that quiet is what gets a happy response. Humans have extinction bursts too. When someone gets on an elevator and presses a button and to doesn't work, they tend to press it more and more until they realize that isn't going to work. Same kind of idea with dogs.

She also told me that when the dog is in the kennel, and when I let her out after being gone, to act really "bored" about letting her out and then the dog will think going in and out of the kennel and having me go away and come back is no big deal. It is all rather counter-intuitive, but it worked!

It is really hard to let dogs whine and beg for attention. It was more of a training activity for me! Oh it broke my heart. But now it's easy. :)

Sounds like a good plan for when you are at the family reunion, It also makes sense to keep Bristol on your bed until the nightmares get better. I'm glad she is there for you and such a good comfort. You two make an excellent team! :)

 

[FindingMyself88]

The extinction burst sounds very logical! She whined for a good bit while I was home but did eventually quit. However she realized when I left and my mom said she went from whining to barking so she ended up going in my bedroom and laying with her until I got back. Being at my dad's will help because she can bark and get it out of her system where as here we cannot let her bark.

Yes, it was very difficult to hear her whine! The acting bored when coming back will be hard because I look forward to it just as much as she does lol!

Thank you so much for all the advice and encouragement! She definitely brightens my day for sure! Hope you and Lizzie have a safe and happy independence day!