I Could Really Use Some Insight On My Breakup /his Isolation

[Osekez]

He is a combat vet with PTSD. He has isolated several times over the last three years but always come back sorry and apologetic within a couple of weeks. This time has been two and a half months. I know I shouldn't have but when this time started I pushed...got upset....kept pushing. Made him come get his things. I was trying to push him out of it....a few times that has worked. Not this time. He has only said maybe five sentences to me in this time and nothing nice. I have left some messages with apologies for pushing..getting upset. No replies at all. We had such a great relationship...never argued and I was very understanding of his PTSD and very supportive. He has been on new meds about six months and from what I've seen they've just made him more depressed. He's had no real desire to do anything. He goes to work, eats, sleeps...that's about it. Lost interest in everything. He was triggered the night he left by a sister. She called bugging him and set him off...he was mad at everyone and everything and grabbed his coat and walked out saying he doesn't need this bs he will have no one tell him what to do etc etc....I guess my question is....he left some things here....expensive, big things. I haven't heard a word from him in weeks. I keep hoping he has left them here because somewhere deep inside he plans on returning to our relationship. I'm stuck in a self imposed limbo because I do hope he will return......this is so hard

 

[Osese]

Hugs if you accept them.

If only we had a crystal ball - none of us know when/if "our" sufferer will come out of isolation.

 

[Utape]

Thanks for the hugs! Appreciated! I'm just afraid to have false hope

 

[Uwupok]

I haven't heard a word from him in weeks. I keep hoping he has left them here because somewhere deep inside he plans on returning to our relationship.

I'm sorry for what you are going through. It's hard being in limbo and knowing what is or is not the best course of action. First thing I suggest is don't go beating yourself up as it sounds like a large part of it is his PTSD raring it's ugly head but that's an assumption we make and may not be true? It is however his issue in relation to not coming back.

Manipulation is probably not the most conducive way to encourage him to come back but when you're desperate I understand taking that course of action. Then apologising for what you did/said which was not fair is fine but please try not to apologise for what you felt as that is your truth. Apologising to manipulate means that you are encouraging someone to possibly come back due to a misappropriated situation. You will loose yourself if you apologise for who you are if the only purpose of what is said is to manipulate someone get someone to come back. They should be there because they want to.

Gosh, I don't know what to say as everyone is different. I know my husband left a past relationship and walked out and left everything behind.... I think some of that was his guilt and some was the fact that he was so out of control he didn't care. I personally, after a life of challenges, prefer to deal with worst case scenario and move upwards but then there are others who believe you need to be positive. My advice, do what you think is the best thing to do so that when you look back you were happy with the person you were (as you can't control him).

Good luck.

 

[Wipun]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. It's hard being in limbo and knowing what is or is not the best course of acti...

Thank you for taking your time to try and help. I don't want to manipulate him at all. The things he left here, I have No doubt he will return for...one of them is a pair of wave runners. I guess I more wanted to know anyone's thoughts on leaving things behind so you have a reason to come back? Still claiming territory? Or if anyone else had any similar experiences......I'm taking care of me but at this point, I'm not ready to move on....I still love him very much but I'm also afraid I'm holding on to false hope.

 

[Fukek]

Honestly... He could just be avoiding the stress of picking them up because he doesnt want a scene.

That sounds very much like a PTSD sufferer-type thing to do.

I'd call his family and ask them to come get them. Or go put them in storage, pay a month, them mail him the key and a note telling him when his storage fees run out.

 

[Ocisac]

He doesn't work and he knows my work schedule....he could easily get them any time when I'm away. i don't need them removed, that isn't the issue.