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I crave death
- Post starter Raj
- Start date
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Neverthesame
Diamond Member
Why do you feel persecuted here?
I hope I didn't make you feel that way.
I hope I didn't make you feel that way.
- Post starter
- #3
illusionist
Diamond Member
So you feel judged because you feel sad for prostitutes?
Justmehere
Sponsor
Are you working with a therapist or doctor to get help and support for how bad you are feeling? You have to deal with sooo much family chaos and violence, anyone in your shoes would struggle. Stay alive and keep reaching out. :hug:
Neverthesame
Diamond Member
A few people weren't fond of the facebook thing.
Personally I feel, given your specific circumstances plus that you said you tried all the more discrete methods of asking about the illness. As well as the abhorrent treatment and lack of respect shown to you and your wife, I feel you haven't crossed much of a line there.
But you can imagine why some people would not agree with it, as it makes public something most people would rather remain private.
I didn't think the animosity you have towards her is because she was a prostitute. I understood it was because of the way her and her mother are treating you and your wife.
The way those three are treating you, your wife and child, Is totally unacceptable.
Other than that Facebook thing, everyone who's responded to you sincerely feels bad for your family, and want to help you however they can.
It might help if you look at that as a disagreement rather than a judgment. People disagree with things all the time, it's just the way the world is.
I believe the best thing anyone can do, is try their best to keep an open mind about why someone doesn't agree with them.
Try to see it from their perspective, you may find a pearl of wisdom you'd otherwise have missed.
Or you may still disagree, which you are allowed to do.
Either way, both are fine.
You're doing your best to protect your family from a horrible situation.
Don't forget to take care of yourself as well.
Keep fighting.
Personally I feel, given your specific circumstances plus that you said you tried all the more discrete methods of asking about the illness. As well as the abhorrent treatment and lack of respect shown to you and your wife, I feel you haven't crossed much of a line there.
But you can imagine why some people would not agree with it, as it makes public something most people would rather remain private.
I didn't think the animosity you have towards her is because she was a prostitute. I understood it was because of the way her and her mother are treating you and your wife.
The way those three are treating you, your wife and child, Is totally unacceptable.
Other than that Facebook thing, everyone who's responded to you sincerely feels bad for your family, and want to help you however they can.
It might help if you look at that as a disagreement rather than a judgment. People disagree with things all the time, it's just the way the world is.
I believe the best thing anyone can do, is try their best to keep an open mind about why someone doesn't agree with them.
Try to see it from their perspective, you may find a pearl of wisdom you'd otherwise have missed.
Or you may still disagree, which you are allowed to do.
Either way, both are fine.
You're doing your best to protect your family from a horrible situation.
Don't forget to take care of yourself as well.
Keep fighting.
Last edited:
joeylittle
Sponsor
Is there any way you can start to change your situation?
- Moderator
- #8
Sideways
VIP Member
It's been clear from your posts that the situation you're living with is chaotic and incredibly distressing. On top of your own stuff, there is clearly some really toxic people in your life through no fault of your own. That's really tough. No one here knows what it's like to have to cope with what you're dealing with on the day to day.
In terms of insight or constructive suggestions as to how to reduce the amount of stressors you have to cope with, the best I feel like I can offer is to work on boundaries. We can't control the behaviour or choices of toxic people. If they make a rush at our front door while we're walking the dogs? We can't stop that, and that's a pretty frightening situation.
What we can control, is where we out our boundaries and how we communicate those. But that's skills that we all have to learn. You, me, everyone. Boundaries and communication skills, especially when you're dealing with toxic people, aren't skills we're born with. They don't come to us naturally. But we can get better at it.
So my suggestions weren't judgments, and I'm genuinely sorry if it was received that way. I haven't drawn any negative conclusions about your character, at all. To the contrary, you're dealing with a situation that sounds incredibly difficult and stressful, and the fact that you can come here and communicate openly and honestly about it is a testament to you. It really is.
Boundaries are a way of protecting ourselves. And I think you deserve a bit of protection from the toxic people in your life. You deserve to have less chaos. You deserve to be surrounded by people that love and respect you. Don't give up. Things can, and will, get better.
In terms of insight or constructive suggestions as to how to reduce the amount of stressors you have to cope with, the best I feel like I can offer is to work on boundaries. We can't control the behaviour or choices of toxic people. If they make a rush at our front door while we're walking the dogs? We can't stop that, and that's a pretty frightening situation.
What we can control, is where we out our boundaries and how we communicate those. But that's skills that we all have to learn. You, me, everyone. Boundaries and communication skills, especially when you're dealing with toxic people, aren't skills we're born with. They don't come to us naturally. But we can get better at it.
So my suggestions weren't judgments, and I'm genuinely sorry if it was received that way. I haven't drawn any negative conclusions about your character, at all. To the contrary, you're dealing with a situation that sounds incredibly difficult and stressful, and the fact that you can come here and communicate openly and honestly about it is a testament to you. It really is.
Boundaries are a way of protecting ourselves. And I think you deserve a bit of protection from the toxic people in your life. You deserve to have less chaos. You deserve to be surrounded by people that love and respect you. Don't give up. Things can, and will, get better.
- Post starter
- #9
- Moderator
- #10
Sideways
VIP Member
Give your son time. Give yourself time.
With a bit of time with him not in your life, without the chaos, with the opportunity to focus on your own healing and taking care of yourself, your wife, your daughter, things will change for you.
Toxic relationships with family members is incredibly painful. So spend some time just taking care of you.
With a bit of time with him not in your life, without the chaos, with the opportunity to focus on your own healing and taking care of yourself, your wife, your daughter, things will change for you.
Toxic relationships with family members is incredibly painful. So spend some time just taking care of you.
- Post starter
- #11
- Post starter
- #12
- Status
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