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Ok. I don't respond to others on here as much as I should so I feel a little guilty posting my own problem again. But I would like open honest opinions. It's a little long. I'm sorry.
I was diagnosed with PTSD last year about July. I disassociate and have panis attacks. I have had some hallucinations of people in my house but that hasn't happened in a few months. I have always had trouble with relationships and issues but I didn't get diagnosed until I had a REALLY stressful year and basically had a break down. I started losing time where I think I was just sitting completely still for long periods of time and that's what led me to talk to someone.
Over the months since then I began to have other issues. There was a little girl in my head and she would yell when I was trying to fall asleep. I would hear her like I hear another real person's voice and she would be saying whatever I was thinking at the time. Hearing someone when I fall asleep still happens sometimes but never audibly voices when I'm fully awake.
Then I got more voices in my head. There are 3 people who talk to me and each other but I'm on a medication now that makes them less active. However, they still have opinions from time to time. I have also had major depressive episodes. I wrote suicide notes in Dec. before getting on meds and then decided that I might need more help.
I've gotten increasingly disorganized, I bathe less, I don't enjoy going out any more, I spend my weekends just sitting, I am not sleeping well, people are telling me that I am not responding to scenarios correctly (I get upset when there is nothing really wrong), small problems are very hard for me to handle and normally end with me crying all night and not knowing what to do and I cry randomly during the day. I cry a lot. I have also started doing odd things like saying the last word on my sentence multiple times without being able to stop.
I am not benefiting from any of this. No one is coming to help me clean my house or hang out with me when to make me feel better when I'm overly sad. No one is paying my bills or giving me time to lay around and avoid responsibility because I'm having issues.
This morning I went to my psychiatrist thinking that I would be told that I was depressed or that these are all part of PTSD. Something normal but that he could help me with so I can get back to things in life. Instead he told me that he thinks my brain is making connections where there are none. My sister told me to write things down so I know what to say. He told me that I could end up making endless list. He wants me to quit talking to my family, increase my anxiety meds to suppress the part of my brain that's creating problems when there are none and he thinks I will snap out of it. For those of you who like to Google, he called it Ganser Syndrome. I'm a middle aged woman (needed info if you Google).
I'm ok if I'm just an unstable person and my brain is doing something stupid like this. But I feel a little bit like I'm not being listened to. I am not gaining anything from this. Not even extra attention. The only people I talk to are my dad and my sister so I don't have a group of friends rallying around me and treating me like I'm ill. They all think I'm ok, just busy so I can't hang out much. I'm confused.
What do you think?
I was diagnosed with PTSD last year about July. I disassociate and have panis attacks. I have had some hallucinations of people in my house but that hasn't happened in a few months. I have always had trouble with relationships and issues but I didn't get diagnosed until I had a REALLY stressful year and basically had a break down. I started losing time where I think I was just sitting completely still for long periods of time and that's what led me to talk to someone.
Over the months since then I began to have other issues. There was a little girl in my head and she would yell when I was trying to fall asleep. I would hear her like I hear another real person's voice and she would be saying whatever I was thinking at the time. Hearing someone when I fall asleep still happens sometimes but never audibly voices when I'm fully awake.
Then I got more voices in my head. There are 3 people who talk to me and each other but I'm on a medication now that makes them less active. However, they still have opinions from time to time. I have also had major depressive episodes. I wrote suicide notes in Dec. before getting on meds and then decided that I might need more help.
I've gotten increasingly disorganized, I bathe less, I don't enjoy going out any more, I spend my weekends just sitting, I am not sleeping well, people are telling me that I am not responding to scenarios correctly (I get upset when there is nothing really wrong), small problems are very hard for me to handle and normally end with me crying all night and not knowing what to do and I cry randomly during the day. I cry a lot. I have also started doing odd things like saying the last word on my sentence multiple times without being able to stop.
I am not benefiting from any of this. No one is coming to help me clean my house or hang out with me when to make me feel better when I'm overly sad. No one is paying my bills or giving me time to lay around and avoid responsibility because I'm having issues.
This morning I went to my psychiatrist thinking that I would be told that I was depressed or that these are all part of PTSD. Something normal but that he could help me with so I can get back to things in life. Instead he told me that he thinks my brain is making connections where there are none. My sister told me to write things down so I know what to say. He told me that I could end up making endless list. He wants me to quit talking to my family, increase my anxiety meds to suppress the part of my brain that's creating problems when there are none and he thinks I will snap out of it. For those of you who like to Google, he called it Ganser Syndrome. I'm a middle aged woman (needed info if you Google).
I'm ok if I'm just an unstable person and my brain is doing something stupid like this. But I feel a little bit like I'm not being listened to. I am not gaining anything from this. Not even extra attention. The only people I talk to are my dad and my sister so I don't have a group of friends rallying around me and treating me like I'm ill. They all think I'm ok, just busy so I can't hang out much. I'm confused.
What do you think?
