I don’t validate?

[FauxLiz]

As many of you know I am in the process of taking steps to apply for admission to a trauma inpatient program. My t and I have been going over the paperwork and seem to have hit a snag. For me under trauma history that was easy I hit the big ones but when he reviewed it he was trying to pull other things out that we have talked about but I don’t count them as Trauma so I left them off.

Did I do it wrong should I have been more inclusive?

eta - corrected typos sorry.

 

[Justmehere]

I don’t think you did anything wrong to initially not list them. I think your therapist is simply trying to help them have all the info so they are better able to help.

 

[EveHarrington]

I read your post five times and I can’t figure out what you are saying. Can you fix the typos so it’s clear?

 

[Friday]

@EveHarrington There's a bug with an apple update not showing certain letters on certain devices. There are no typos in the written post.

ETA :

For anyone else who would like to know more, or for further comments or questions regarding this technical matter, please open a help-ticket

 

[Freida]

odd thing my T said to me the other day... "Even if you didn't have your big traumas, you have a slew of little ones that, when added together, would have probably landed you with ptsd" It was weird because I don't think of them as a big deal. Ex: I had a lot of serious illnesses/surgery as a kid. In my mind: not a trauma -- just living life In her mind: each incident is a minor trauma, add them all up and it is something that gets her attention and ties into my "real" ones. So he may just be looking for the indicators for those who will be working with you when you are admitted.

 

[FauxLiz]

@Freida thanks. I am pretty sure that I know what he was getting at which include parental neglect, physical and emotional abuse from parents and siblings, incest/molestation by older brother. But other than the issue with my brother for me that was just life. As for my brother, he is dead, has been for over 20 years what good does it do to bring that back up?

To get to the point of the title, my t tells me that I don't validate myself or what has happened. He is concerned that because my way of dealing other than self-medicating has been to downplay what happened and it's impact on me that other clinicians that haven't worked with me as long will downplay my traumas as well.

 

[Friday]

To get to the point of the title, my t tells me that I don't validate myself or what has happened. He is concerned that because my way of dealing other than self-medicating has been to downplay what happened and it's impact on me that other clinicians that haven't worked with me as long will downplay my traumas as well.

I've learned to include things in "the list" that I don't give a flying f*ck about just because -yep- they happened. Some I don't care about because I've never cared about them, some I don't care about because I've actually processed them. How I FEEL about them? What their import is? Doesn't change the fact that, yep, that happened.

It also gives me a really good starting point in conversation because I can point at section A (I am seriously f*cked up over these, and would like some help with them), and section B (I don't give a FF about these), and section C (I don't even know why these would be counted, but they seem to upset other people).

 

[Justmehere]

As for my brother, he is dead, has been for over 20 years what good does it do to bring that back up?

It’s not about whether or not the perp is alive or dead, but how you are coping with life now and what past losses and trauma might have played a role in developing the coping styles and problems you are having now.

Minimizing trauma like what you have listed is a defense mechanism. It’s a sign that it actually still hurts and minimization is what you are using (along with other maladaptive coping tools) to deal with it.

Emotional neglect alone can kill a child, even if all physical needs are met, and the child is physically safe. It’s called failure to thrive and if severe enough, the child dies.

I survived neglect myself and before I went inpatient, I didn’t think it was even a thing. Now, I realize it was always a thing, I was just trying to convince myself it wasn’t a thing to cope with it.