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Sexual Assault I don’t want to live like this anymore

T

tiredblu00

I’m so tired. I live everyday in fear and stress and I can’t take it. I’m only here because of my pets. I finally told my sister that her husband molested me as a child and I got zero reaction from her. I kept it a secret because I didn’t want to hurt her and to get nothing from her broke me beyond belief. My parents let him move in to our home when she got pregnant, we have a big age gap. I was 8 and my sister was already 21. And they have lived here ever since. I am 28 now. Once she found out, I begged her to leave him but she won’t. She said she’ll move out but it’s been over a year and anytime she says she’s looking for a place she isnt. I know things aren’t cheap right now but they pay my dad the minimum they can living here and I remember one time my sister was showing me a payment and they had over 30k in one of the bank accounts. I work from home selling stuff on eBay but I don’t make a lot and I don’t even have $50 to my name right now. I want a job so bad but I feel like I have to be home 24/7 because he tried to kick my 8 pound dog for barking at him and I am scared to leave them alone. I feel like I’m in constant fight or flight mode because he comes in and out of the home throughout the day. I’m planning on saving all I can until the end of the year and taking a leap of faith and leaving. I feel terrible because I know it’ll hurt my mom terribly but I don’t know if I have any other choice. Even if I don’t make it out there I don’t think I could do another year here either. I wish things could be different, I want to be at peace in my own home but I have to leave soon
 
This is huge...are you getting any therapy for this?

That makes your sister 41yo now and I'm assuming her husband is of a similar age? It sounds as if your parents aren't aware of what he did to you? If this goes legal he could do time.

You have been carrying this burden on your own for twenty years, I'd get some professional help, perhaps start with your (trusted) family doctor or a help line.
 
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I'm so sorry for your pain. I wish you peace in your heart and mind ♥️
Thank you so much, that means a lot to me ♡

This is huge...are you getting any therapy for this?

That makes your sister 41yo now and I'm assuming her husband is of a similar age? It sounds as if your parents aren't aware of what he did to you? If this goes legal he could do time.

You have been carrying this burden on your own for twenty years, I'd get some professional help, perhaps start with your (trusted) family doctor or a help line.
This is huge...are you getting any therapy for this?

That makes your sister 41yo now and I'm assuming her husband is of a similar age? It sounds as if your parents aren't aware of what he did to you? If this goes legal he could do time.

You have been carrying this burden on your own for twenty years, I'd get some professional help, perhaps start with your (trusted) family doctor or a help line.
Hi, no I’m not getting any therapy. I don’t really know how to go about it. Yes her husband is the same age as her. I did tell my mom, she stopped interacting with him but I think since we don’t know how he’ll react, we haven’t confronted him. I’m not sure if my dad knows. I had a total panic attack when he tried to hurt my dog and I told my sister about it. She was basically defending him and that my dog was the one that started it by barking at him. I rescued my dog from an abuse situation and he gets nervous with people at times. My dad was in the living room, and I was telling my sister that I couldn’t believe she’d defend a pedophile and be married to one. I’m not sure if he heard but my dad did start crying and I haven’t seen him speak to my sisters husband since. My dad is very kind and mild mannered so he probably doesn’t know what to do either.
I will try to see if I could get therapy because I do want to live, there’s a lot I want to do and right now I feel stuck and don’t see a way out. I did suppress it for a long time, high school and college was pretty normal. Then when I was around 23, he got drunk on new years and tried to get in through my window. That brought back a lot.
Thank you for taking the time to read and for your advice, I appreciate you alot
 
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