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I Don't Even Know What To Call This Damn Thing.

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William not sure how to deal with the demon my self I know that the kids can help if you can find peace in watching them grow try taking them fishing or for a bike ride try to enjoy them at the age they are as they will only be there for a moment good luck and keep talking
 
I can only find peace in toddlers. They are innocent then and have vivid imagination and unconditional love for their parents and all nature. Then they go to school and learn to be horrible little critters. lmao. No, I would give my last breath for my child to live.

Jimmy
 
My children don't go to school. We teach them at home. I believe it is better that way. Especially since the USA is dead last in the race to educate their young.

I didn't have a bad day today. We had a blast. I am just having a rough night. Oh well.
 
Now my back is better, apart from Fishing, I am going to build my own 'Alan' Garden, I mean Veggie Garden.

After all the destruction I have seen in the world, I love creating something.
Jimmy,

Wow, you hit it on the head. I do a lot of gardening and raising animals. I also hunt. I gotta tell ya, it is good to whack a deer and know he will not shoot back. And I love cooking too. The problem is there are very few REAL cures for my anger. Alcohol always works (for a little while), but the Doc hates to hear that.
 
Well Tigerfan, when I first did an anger management course late in 06, they told me I would one day be able to control my anger, or change my mindset. I told them they were bullshitting me.
But using the CTP (Cognitive Thought Process), you can. Sometimes it gets away from me though.
Especially when the stress cup is really full. Its hard to stop it.
Alcohol just lowers your mood mate, it does work though and when I start to drink, I don't usually stop unless I run out, that is why we don't buy beer much. And spirits, well I never want to travel that path again.

Good luck here though mate, hope we can help.
 
Well another damn night of no sleep. My wife came out of surgery and is doing fine. She comes home tomorrow.
I just want to sleep for a few days lol.
 
Glad your wife is doing well, we all need our supporters.
Sleep will come eventually mate, just remember being on operations and surviving on very little sleep.

I now take 25 mg of Valdoxan and 15 mg Soltab Avanza and sleep nearly 10 hours with only 2 awake periods of about 20 minutes. Its better than none.

I believe the wanting to sleep for days has to do with depression and shit. Sort of like escaping. In my dark times, I curl up, pull the shades, put mind numbing music on and want to sleep for days.
 
My van broke down yesterday, six miles away from my house. To add insult to injury no one was able to come pick me up. So there I am with my Bad knee, Flip Flops, a 12 pack of Pabst A bottle of Irish Rose, and a stroller in the van. I put the drinks in the stroller, and started walking. My leg hurt I was going slow. Finally it starts raining in torrents. What the hell, is in not good enough that I am in pain wearing flip flops, It starts f*cking raining?!!? So I finally get home, soaking, tired, and in pain. My wife meets me at the door with pain pills and puts the drinks in the fridge. Lays me down in the bed and I go to sleep.

I really know my wife loves me.
 
That is one of the best parts of life. When someone has mercy on your soul and just does the exact right thing.

Having been the very last owner of every vehicle I have owned, I can sympathize. I always had this game plan because I could never afford to fix the damn things properly. If I broke down in the middle of nowhere, I'd just pop of the plates, Pry off the vin number (engine didn't matter because it was usually the second or third second hand motor in the damn thing) take out any evidence of me owning it and just walk away.......... Go and buy another 300-600 dollar piece of shit.

I don't drive anymore. Public transportation is Ace in Oslo and Stockholm. Allot less stress as well.

12 pack of beer and a bottle of whiskey in the stroller. lol. Yup, keep them babies safe.

Happy you made it home OK. Take care Brother.

Wagon
 
I drove a VW until the motor leaked 4 quaarts every time it stood still. its tires were showing th metal bands and the exhaust fell off on the highway. I was drilling oil in Utah and driving it to Denver every 2 weeks. It blew the motor about 2 hrs out of Denver in the Mountains. I walked most of it and about 100 miles out of Denver I finally got a ride most ofthe way back. That took 2 days and it was so exhausting to stress out over it. Went out and bought another VW the same week it was 1400 same as the last one. lol
That was a while ago. Now all I drive is pickups and scouts. Scouts are mint, they never die, they just rust away.
 
The world lost a truly great vehicle when International stopped making the Scout. I have an '85 Bronco that I bought new and have ridden hard a put away wet. But it keeps ticking and sucking down gas so fast you can watch the gas gauge go down as you drive....
 
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