Ditto.I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t want intimate moments with my sufferer to get corrupted either.
“Aren’t we setting the bar a little low with consent? Shouldn’t we be aiming for enthusiasm?!?”
^^^ Is what I live by. ^^^
If I can’t trust that enthusiasm -in the moment- IS NOT going to change to pain/regret/abuse afterward? Or tales of “just getting through it”or similar, are NOT going to come up later? That trust is broooooooken. And I will not be having sex with that person. It’s a very hard limit, with me, because sex is reeeeeally important to me, in a relationship. A lot of others might have it as a soft limit, or sex might not be that important to them. But for me? It’s important. And anything less than true enthusiasm is a hard limit.