I Don't Know If I Should Be Happy Or Sad About This...

[Kaii]

I just found out today that my Canada Pension Plan Disability application was APPROVED.

I don't know if I should laugh or cry....

On one hand, I am relieved as I have not worked (Nurse) in 1.5 years due to my PTSD and money was getting pretty tight (as in, they had boxes of Kraft Dinner on for .49$ and I bought 144 boxes :P

On the other hand, is being approved for Disability a validation that I am in fact "disabled"? I don't like thinking of myself like that. My psychiatrist told me a few days ago that I have a mental illness. It was a hard pill for me to swallow. He wanted to add Seroquel to my meds and I balked and said that I felt uncomfortable as the only experience I had with it was when I gave it to my schizophrenic and bipolar patients at the hospital. And my psychiatrist said "well, they have a mental illness, how are they any different from you? You have a mental illness also. PTSD is a mental illness".

And then I cried. I never thought of it that way. So, I guess I am going to take the damn Seroquel and have had my Disability claim approved.

Er, yay me? :S

 

[Heather]

(((((Kai))))) I know the feeling...... I was approved for disability 3 months ago and it definitely helps with paying the bills, that is for sure! I can relate to that I was afraid for awhile my electricity was going to be shut off.

On the other hand, what does that say about me? I sat down with someone to help me fill out some paperwork and we were talking and they said, "well, you are disabled......" didn't exactly make me feel good.

 

[Hopeful+Healing]

The most important thing is that you are taking care of yourself. Give yourself credit.

 

[TLight]

I know. I was devestated also. I refused to accept it, I still do to this day.

I don't feel 'mental' (well sometimes...well, sometimes a lot of times). I want to be productive, want to function, but the fact is I'm limited and can't consistently do somethings that others can do. Mostly stress....and work is stress right? Except if I'm a painter or a writer or something.

I'm disabled. Ick

 

[EloiseLandau]

I tell people I am not mentally ill, I am Mentally Interesting.

 

[Kaii]

Hahahahahaha, thank you for that EloiseLandau! :D

I would much prefer to think of it that way! I think I shall use that!