I Don't Want To Play Anymore

[Eteve]

I have been at this way to long, I am tired,always in pain , tired Of trying to explain PTSD to people who don't know or really care . I don't want to be the one that helps the uninformed to understand.I am starting to see why ww2 vets kept their war to themselves and just acted like everything is good and kept on going.No one really cares,Ptsd is just a thing that combat veterans go though. The question,why are you disabled , the answer PTSD,the look priceless .

 

[Ajogu]

So don't explain Brother?

Why are you disabled gets met with Why are you nosy / why do you care, or staring them down like morons asking ignorant shit they are. You don't owe them anything and it's not worth stressing you up, their bullshit, their problem. Sorry you keep getting harassed so much.

 

[Vofu]

I understand how you feel, I've regretted it every time I stated I had PTSD in public. Or at an office or where ever.
It's been a tough road but I've learned more and more not to give a shit what people think, sure they may say rude things or cast judgement
but just tell em to mind their f*cken business. In a politer way if they're worthy. I've had folks treat me like I was about to fly off the handle when I was calm and relaxed just because I said PTSD. Their opinions are void and do not provide any help what so ever to our daily lives so speak your mind, or ignore the shit out of them. Cus you're right they don't really give a shit. Not even my family gives a shit.

Makes me wanna slap the f*ck outa them some times. But I just label them dumb asses in my book and move on.
It's none of their f*cken business, they'll only use it as a weapon against you when you're telling them right.

 

[Odu]

I agree. tell few people. everyone I've told has just made me feel worse. we already feel different, it just makes it more so.

Makes me laugh that here in UK they try and tell us there's now great awareness of mental health and things are much better. so why does this thread explain exactly how I feel.

 

[Fiwes]

it is impossible for anybody to understand war and combat that has not faced it themselves.

I know exactly how you feel -->> BS
come on, it can't be that bad, get over it -->> BS
everyone has issues, yours are no different -->> BS

 

[Faluva]

Yep, see no matter what they say about awarness there is no way in hell everyone is on the same level of perception.. you could meet a vet who will get it, and talk to someone who's heard this and that and they'll treat you like a ticking time bomb scared as shit. Or that you are a war criminal which is bs. Some days I wish a mfer would just so I could unleash this hell on their face but I know that won't do me any good.

 

[Usuza]

I have been at this way to long, I am tired,always in pain , tired Of trying to explain PTSD to people who don't know or really care . I don't want to be the one that helps the uninformed to understand.I am starting to see why ww2 vets kept their war to themselves and just acted like everything is good and kept on going.No one really cares,Ptsd is just a thing that combat veterans go though. The question,why are you disabled , the answer PTSD,the look priceless .

I just had to finally move to the country. The country people seem less nosy machine and more human. It has made a difference for I have found for me having rest time from having to be on guard all the time around others has been a great help. Kind of teaching my on mind that I can turn it off some when away from others is just that teaching the mind it can relax. The more I relax the more the people when I go to town do not bother me. I have had to get a little firm with family and or friends by telling them. I am working through allot right now in my head and them doing (this) seems to upset me for some reason. I ask to not do or act this way when I am around so I may more enjoy their company. Most were cool and have made a great effort. A couple who are all about them selves did not get it and I avoid them. I educated the people around me that sometimes I need to be left alone and sometimes I need a hug. They have become very good at reading when I need what. Sitting here even though we moved into a huge RV it is mobile. We will not move again but being able to flight in a moment seems to take flight stress away so less reason to flight. If any of that makes since. I was a city boy and am learning. Wheelchair does not roll in sugar sand. lesson one. Anyway watching the opossums and raccoons play and eat the cat food we put out is cool. Squirrels will come by every morning to the porch and just sit and chatter at me sitting in my chair. It is just a different life then the city and I will go visit there from time to time but will never live there again. I am old school thinker who likes old ways of manors and the respect that goes with it. Also we have not had tv in 7 years. Not watching the worlds issues takes away allot of stress. The bending and fabricating media used to really upset me for I was in a place to know the facts as they are not as they are reported or even just an hoax as many news stories today. The brother hood I knew when active is in my heart and I now have country neighbors who understand this and I think we would do anything for each other as it should be with good people. I have not been to a VFW for it seems so many even brothers ans sister have fallen to believe what they are told and not what they see or have been blinded by media crap to the point they think our country is fine on the path it is on. I like to say when it comes to thinking outside the box, (what box). I hope and pray for all in stress dealing with ptsd to look for triggers. write down everything you eat and drink, everywhere you go then go back and look for patterns. I beat the crap out of a body bag until so tired I can now sleep. Thes crap in ones life is the less crap to have to put up with. I would not ever trade the 4 people in my life who may not understand but respect me as I am to work with me for the rest of the world to have a clue what Combat and Childhood PTSD is about. I also have both and never knew it until losing my son and my inner strength. Never had a second thought of issues until then. Now the PTSD truck hath runneth over me. Live simple, Pray hard to whom ever you have faith in, beat the crap out of stuff that will not break when wound up, educate all and avoid the ones who do not get it even if family. You first for a while.

 

[Imoc]

I have been at this way to long, I am tired,always in pain , tired Of trying to explain PTSD to people who don't know or really care . I don't want to be the one that helps the uninformed to understand.I am starting to see why ww2 vets kept their war to themselves and just acted like everything is good and kept on going.No one really cares,Ptsd is just a thing that combat veterans go though. The question,why are you disabled , the answer PTSD,the look priceless .

I have also told many I am not the resolution to your problems and your not mine. have a nice day.
I have been treated as if a tin soldier and wanted to inflict serous harm on them but just stared until they gave up. This eats me up more than anything. So many think there was no combat anywhere in the world during the cold war. Jugheads.
I proudly display my retired veteran tags on my truck yet I did remove all other emblems so people would leave me alone about it. So many people lost think if your not 11B no way you could have PTSD. The movies I guess. Who knows.

 

[Ezosu]

I am arguing with the wife now when we got along well for so long. And I notice the panic attacks setting in. Hands are edgy, and my adrenals are pumping juice so much they actually hurt. I keep reaching for my sidearm, rifle, something.
Letter from the VA today about a mortgage that I don't even have. God, I wish something would work right. Then the anger and I want to bust something, anything. But what good would that do? It all goes inward.
Yeah, I have DV plate and often I get a stare when I get out and walk normal, using 800 mgs of Gabapentin. I had a Ranger tab insignia and it was worse. Jeez. I am proud of it, you know.
WTF? Has to be a place to go.....

 

[Icocuf]

WTF? Has to be a place to go...

IDK. I don't belong anywhere. For the longest time that meant I could go anywhere :sneaky: Lately I've been kicking over that, some. Maybe time to find somewhere I belong. Maybe time to get back to the freedom of go anywhere. Either way, really.

 

[Amizuh]

You hit the nail right on the head in every aspect of my ideal life! I'm starting my journey to be there! Save me a spot!

I just had to finally move to the country. The country people seem less nosy machine and more human. It has made a difference for I have found for me having rest time from having to be on guard all the time around others has been a great help. Kind of teaching my on mind that I can turn it off some when away from others is just that teaching the mind it can relax. The more I relax the more the people when I go to town do not bother me. I have had to get a little firm with family and or friends by telling them. I am working through allot right now in my head and them doing (this) seems to upset me for some reason. I ask to not do or act this way when I am around so I may more enjoy their company. Most were cool and have made a great effort. A couple who are all about them selves did not get it and I avoid them. I educated the people around me that sometimes I need to be left alone and sometimes I need a hug. They have become very good at reading when I need what. Sitting here even though we moved into a huge RV it is mobile. We will not move again but being able to flight in a moment seems to take flight stress away so less reason to flight. If any of that makes since. I was a city boy and am learning. Wheelchair does not roll in sugar sand. lesson one. Anyway watching the opossums and raccoons play and eat the cat food we put out is cool. Squirrels will come by every morning to the porch and just sit and chatter at me sitting in my chair. It is just a different life then the city and I will go visit there from time to time but will never live there again. I am old school thinker who likes old ways of manors and the respect that goes with it. Also we have not had tv in 7 years. Not watching the worlds issues takes away allot of stress. The bending and fabricating media used to really upset me for I was in a place to know the facts as they are not as they are reported or even just an hoax as many news stories today. The brother hood I knew when active is in my heart and I now have country neighbors who understand this and I think we would do anything for each other as it should be with good people. I have not been to a VFW for it seems so many even brothers ans sister have fallen to believe what they are told and not what they see or have been blinded by media crap to the point they think our country is fine on the path it is on. I like to say when it comes to thinking outside the box, (what box). I hope and pray for all in stress dealing with ptsd to look for triggers. write down everything you eat and drink, everywhere you go then go back and look for patterns. I beat the crap out of a body bag until so tired I can now sleep. Thes crap in ones life is the less crap to have to put up with. I would not ever trade the 4 people in my life who may not understand but respect me as I am to work with me for the rest of the world to have a clue what Combat and Childhood PTSD is about. I also have both and never knew it until losing my son and my inner strength. Never had a second thought of issues until then. Now the PTSD truck hath runneth over me. Live simple, Pray hard to whom ever you have faith in, beat the crap out of stuff that will not break when wound up, educate all and avoid the ones who do not get it even if family. You first for a while.