I Feel So Alone

[Mustangrachel]

Today was a family members birthday..and try all know it's not safe for me to go to certain places(my abusive ex who has tried to kill me before goes to this place a lot) and when I had a panic attack and told them that it was wrong of them to even expect me to attend at that place and asked if we could go somewhere else. They all told me to get over my fear and deal it. That I was letting him win. Now I feel more alone again than ever..I feel like no ones listens to me or gives a rats about me and my fears..this ex not only physically emotionally, mentally, verbally abused me but he also sexually abused me. I am having a hard time trusting people and now that my family always seems to forget theses things I have a hard time seeing the big picture. I just want me back..when I'm awake I can't escape..and when I sleep I can't escape.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I am so sorry! One of my most hated things people say it - can't you just get over it. They don't get what you went through. Are you seeing a therapist? You can learn skills to help you in these situations. (((Mustangrachel)))

 

[p-no]

I am sorry, too, Mustangrachel, that you have to go through this.
I know it's not the same, but people here understand. (((Comforting Hug)))

 

[nimkekaa]

I`m sorry that your family can`t see how difficult going to this place must have been for you.

Like prime-no says, it`s not the same but we understand.

 

[Emilie]

I went through something similar with my grandfathers' funeral. Everyone expected me and my kids to come and hate me for not going. I relate that It hurt so much not to be able to go, but my abuser was there. It's a feeling of being trapped. And then, you feel too like they almost preferred him there, since they should know and feel your pain. Unfortunately... other people don't get it and not they they should get it...everybody has their own perspective and life philosophy. You really have to try and not take it personally. Ignorance is innocent.

I think the most important thing I learned is that I had to stop caring about other peoples' feelings and "do me". Because I needed work. I needed to feel safe. No point in throwing myself into a situation only to backstep in my progress. Try to drown out the anxious thoughts with positive ones. What I found helps me is to listen to music with a positive overtone. You should take pride in the fact that you did was was best for yourself. Don't give up no matter what you do.