I Get So Angry

[Gs172003]

@Zoogal I know that you have some issues with hubby and his addiction, and that would...

The one before him had it too but used it against me different. He was also a compulsive liar. So in those ways both have parallels. That complicates things. Current claims he's changed and I try to believe him but.....I don't. Anything that resembles any of that sets me off. Badly. Whether it's actually from him the other or both I don't know. But I'm not sure where I play in.

 

[Gs172003]

@Zoogal I know that you have some issues with hubby and his addiction, and that would...

And yeah. I suck at men. The first one? We had seperate bank accounts. I never knew how much he made. I made 3.80 an hour working 20 hours a week. That's all I got. He worked at Ford. Hello....

He called my job seven times a day to make sure I was there. I wasn't allowed to do anything wity female neighbor just in case somebody hit on me. If I went to the grocery with mom too long ( more than an hour)he called everybody I knew to see where I was. He punched holes in walls, ripped phones out of sockets... Etc etc. I left him for a guy across the street. I should have stayed. That's all I'm going to say about that.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Zoogal So, 2 questions.... 1) Was it guy #1 that gave you PTSD??? 2). Why do you think you pick guys that are addicted to porn?

 

[Gs172003]

@Zoogal So, 2 questions.... 1) Was it guy #1 that gave you PTSD??? 2). Why do you...

No it was guy #2. Guy #1 was an alcoholic but not an addict like that. I didnt know about any of them til I was already in especially current. He was very very good at hiding it. He is an EXCELLENT liar.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Zoogal So are you now with guy # 2????

 

[Gs172003]

I've never had a good relationship. My first long term one in high school I moved in with him and he wouldn't work. I starved for three weeks before I kicked him out. I lived with my aunt for a week then got a roommate. Shortly after met #1 (never intended on staying with him but got pregnant) and ended up with him. There you go. Then the other two back to back. Let that be a lesson for you kids.

 

[Gs172003]

@Zoogal So are you now with guy # 2????

No. The one the thread about is #3.

 

[Gs172003]

I'm sorry this is so confusing

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Zoogal Does your trauma have anything to do with sexual abuse at all????

 

[Gs172003]

@Zoogal Does your trauma have anything to do with sexual abuse at all????

Yes.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Zoogal Ok, maybe this is far reaching, but I think the reason you might be picking guys with this one addiction is because of your trauma. Whether you somehow might have known about their addiction, or unconsciously sensed it, or their behavior gave it away, I think you might actually graivitate towards picking this type of man. It's not unheard of, for this to happen. With abuse, we sometimes(whether we know it or not) we tend to seek out the same type of people because it's what we know. Sometimes we even feel it's what we deserve.

I'm not saying that this is you, but it might be something to look into with your therapist. I know that most of the guys I went with, were abusive. Something I had a lot of in my childhood. My T said that it's not uncommon for some women to Pick the same type of partners thinking that they MIGHT be able to change to outcome this time. Am I making sense?????

 

[Gs172003]

I guess