Undiagnosed I Got Ptsd After Finding Out About Wife's Rape/abuse

[Abstract]

Hi Dancat,

I am sorry to hear all you are struggling with. Noone should have to be exposed to terrible things whether in person or through a loved one.

I am not sure if you are familiar with the term Secondary Traumatic Stress or Vicarious Truama. It may be worthwhile looking at it. http://secondarytrauma.org/secondarytrauma.htm Link Removed the one I am not saying this is what is happening for you but thought I would mention it in case you did not know of its existence. Therapists, friends, family and other professionals who come in contact with the persons trauma can get it. Those who are particularly empathic and sensitive are most vulnerable apparently and I imagine a deep caring for the person harmed can only make it worse.

My wife thinks that her mother leaving is far more damaging than s.... She is totally dismissive of

I could have written this part about me. Not having any emotional reaction to something everyone would find at least upsetting is a dead give-away of someone being traumatised by it in my opinion. I still struggle to see this for myself of course.

I think she could be right in a sense about her mother but on the other hand very wrong. Our parents are the foundations of how we live our lives and what we think of ourselves and their actions go as deep as anything can. But she is avoiding the trauma. More recently I have sometimes been able to see that the so called lessor stuff's emotional material is more available to me in a "normal" way and it is therefore impossible to compare the two. It's apples and oranges. But both are poisonous.

 

[Lifeline]

Well let's throw out the DSM criterion as EVERYONE on Gods green earth now qualifies for PTSD.

And I do mean EVERYONE.

It was someone CLOSE to him. That's where the distinction lies. If it was a mere acquaintance, then he could not meet criterion A.

However, he should get an official diagnosis.

For an extreme example, I could also imagine some parents of abducted/murdered children would develop PTSD and that's why point 3 is essential.


Hi dancat. Welcome to the forum!

 

[aj1]

At times like this, I always think of the words of wisdom from my friend Don. Always be quicker to love, and not so quick to judge.

 

[intothelight]

Hi DanCat,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum!

At first I tried counseling, which was useless.

Counseling is whatever a person puts into it and takes from it. A counselor can provide you with the starting point and the tools to get you where you want to be....but it is entirely up to you. Take the time to get a diagnosis, as that is the starting point. Finding out what is wrong is necessary to finding what it will take to reclaim your life.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)