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Vopepev
It all started as a normal night, my best friend and I decided to hang out with our guy friend. We walked around town and then went to her house and decided to drink a few beers.
This guy was my best guy friend, also like a younger brother to me. He had always had a crush on me and even told my mom he was "in love" with me. I was 15, he was 15.
We all joked around for awhile and once I was drunk, I started saying things that were probably not the best things to say, I told him to not touch me, or act like he loves me. That I'm drunk and he was getting to hands on for my liking.
At the point in the night it was around 1 am, My best girl friend and I had way too much to drink, I was very, very drunk... And so was she. On the other hand he had only one beer.
I decided I was tired and I looked over and my friends were making out, and I was like "oh whatever" I layer down next to them, not knowing they were having sex but I found out in the morning they did.
After I believe they were done having sex, he came over to my side of the bed and started getting really touchy with me. I kept telling him "no", "please leave me alone", " I'm too drunk." At this point my girl friend had even told him " she's saying no stop" but unfortunately she was too drunk to even stand, as was I.
He then took my pants off, I tried to push him off but my arms weren't working, I repeated over and over again while he f*cked my lifeless body " stop please" "no" and he whispered in my ear " just moan, I know you like it" at that point I blacked out.
I woke up in the morning to him being gone and my girl friend talking about the night and how they f*cked and how him and I f*cked. But that's not what had happened. You might have f*cked him but, I've come to realize he raped me. He took advantage and decided to ruin me.
I went home that day, took a shower and cried. I couldn't tell anyone, I couldn't... Because he was my best friend, he was like a brother. Our parents were best friends. So I didn't tell. After that he wanted to date me and I told him multiple times I wanted nothing to do with him.
One night my parents went out of town and I had to stay at his house, he wasn't home so I was told to sleep in his room. But, he came home. Once he knew I was there I guess, so he came in. And I was asleep, I woke up to him fingering me. He said it was fine because we already f*cked once, I just layed there, lifeless, wishing it would all end. After that day I told him to never speak to me again and that he took advantage of me.
At this point in my life, almost 21 years old, I still hate him. At my lowest point in life which was 5 months ago, I had broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years and I felt like I was never going to be loved. I wanted to die. So I went to his house and we had sex, it feels so wrong that I did that. I let him have me.
The next day I went over because I left shit there, when I tried to leave he pulled me by my hair and told me to stay, that we could f*ck, I told him I had to go right now, let go of me. He pushed his lips against mine and bite my lip very hard and told me " come back soon" and winked.
I went home and cried again. I felt disgusting, I'm terrible for letting him touch me. It never affected me much until he touched me again, and I realized how much I f*cking hate him. I'm very afraid of being drunk around men, I'm afraid I'm going to be too drunk and can't fight for myself. I hate him. I hate dreaming about it. I never realized that it was rape, until I was a little older. Now I can't even believe that he raped me. I was raped. It wasn't me saying yes, because I remember. I remember saying no. I don't know how to tell people. I've told one person. My boyfriend now. Because I trust him and I know that he would protect me always.
I want rape victims to know that you aren't alone, you don't have to tell people, you can get through it, you're not in the wrong. I was raped and I'm okay.
This guy was my best guy friend, also like a younger brother to me. He had always had a crush on me and even told my mom he was "in love" with me. I was 15, he was 15.
We all joked around for awhile and once I was drunk, I started saying things that were probably not the best things to say, I told him to not touch me, or act like he loves me. That I'm drunk and he was getting to hands on for my liking.
At the point in the night it was around 1 am, My best girl friend and I had way too much to drink, I was very, very drunk... And so was she. On the other hand he had only one beer.
I decided I was tired and I looked over and my friends were making out, and I was like "oh whatever" I layer down next to them, not knowing they were having sex but I found out in the morning they did.
After I believe they were done having sex, he came over to my side of the bed and started getting really touchy with me. I kept telling him "no", "please leave me alone", " I'm too drunk." At this point my girl friend had even told him " she's saying no stop" but unfortunately she was too drunk to even stand, as was I.
He then took my pants off, I tried to push him off but my arms weren't working, I repeated over and over again while he f*cked my lifeless body " stop please" "no" and he whispered in my ear " just moan, I know you like it" at that point I blacked out.
I woke up in the morning to him being gone and my girl friend talking about the night and how they f*cked and how him and I f*cked. But that's not what had happened. You might have f*cked him but, I've come to realize he raped me. He took advantage and decided to ruin me.
I went home that day, took a shower and cried. I couldn't tell anyone, I couldn't... Because he was my best friend, he was like a brother. Our parents were best friends. So I didn't tell. After that he wanted to date me and I told him multiple times I wanted nothing to do with him.
One night my parents went out of town and I had to stay at his house, he wasn't home so I was told to sleep in his room. But, he came home. Once he knew I was there I guess, so he came in. And I was asleep, I woke up to him fingering me. He said it was fine because we already f*cked once, I just layed there, lifeless, wishing it would all end. After that day I told him to never speak to me again and that he took advantage of me.
At this point in my life, almost 21 years old, I still hate him. At my lowest point in life which was 5 months ago, I had broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years and I felt like I was never going to be loved. I wanted to die. So I went to his house and we had sex, it feels so wrong that I did that. I let him have me.
The next day I went over because I left shit there, when I tried to leave he pulled me by my hair and told me to stay, that we could f*ck, I told him I had to go right now, let go of me. He pushed his lips against mine and bite my lip very hard and told me " come back soon" and winked.
I went home and cried again. I felt disgusting, I'm terrible for letting him touch me. It never affected me much until he touched me again, and I realized how much I f*cking hate him. I'm very afraid of being drunk around men, I'm afraid I'm going to be too drunk and can't fight for myself. I hate him. I hate dreaming about it. I never realized that it was rape, until I was a little older. Now I can't even believe that he raped me. I was raped. It wasn't me saying yes, because I remember. I remember saying no. I don't know how to tell people. I've told one person. My boyfriend now. Because I trust him and I know that he would protect me always.
I want rape victims to know that you aren't alone, you don't have to tell people, you can get through it, you're not in the wrong. I was raped and I'm okay.
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