Hey folks! As I read these posts, I am struck with how everyone here clearly understands what my life is like TRYING to live with and support a spouse with severe PTSD. People that are not the millions of affected military families really just don't understand, and I feel awkward/cannot join local PTSD military support groups because our PTSD did not arise out of a military situation, but from childhood abuse (combat nonetheless) and then a series of several SEVERE automobile accidents and 200+k in surgeries later as an adult, stress of which brought back the buried child abuse.
It really does seems that I feel like I intimately relate to two groups, PTSD military families and senior partners of those with Alzheimer's. Neither support groups, however, do I fit into, so I drift without support, lost most of the time.
I find it ERIE how the lives written herein echo my own experiences dealing with this nightmare for nearly 8 years now. My spouse is a shell of who I married...I see bits of him from time to time, but a LOT of the time, I literally can't stand him, but keep telling myself, its not him, its the PTSD. He has alienated all friends, and most family. I am powerless to do much more for him, and literally struggle just to keep my own sanity and our family financially afloat while he self-destructs (and I am apparently not doing that too well, paying privately for medical premiums and ALL of his many meds has forced me to choose between mortgage and medical..medical won.)
Our lives are SOOOOOO different now. Before the snap and PTSD onset, we had just built our first new home, had started looking for our first investment property, our child attended an exclusive private school, spouse graduated with his Masters...all of this with HARD work as NEITHER of us were born with a silver spoon (indeed, hubs was pumping gas when working on his first degree) and then ALL FRIGGIN HELL broke loose and we now fast forward and we are losing EVERYTHING.
Well, trying not to whine/throw a pity party (at least not tonight, tomorrow, however, I may revert to sobbing like a baby)....but just wanted to introduce my situation (hate to call it a "life", as it is no life that I; or you, I am sure, ever chose for ourselves.)
I hope that I can be accepted at this group and extend my thanks for everyone's personal accounts as they TRULY let me know that I am not alone.
It really does seems that I feel like I intimately relate to two groups, PTSD military families and senior partners of those with Alzheimer's. Neither support groups, however, do I fit into, so I drift without support, lost most of the time.
I find it ERIE how the lives written herein echo my own experiences dealing with this nightmare for nearly 8 years now. My spouse is a shell of who I married...I see bits of him from time to time, but a LOT of the time, I literally can't stand him, but keep telling myself, its not him, its the PTSD. He has alienated all friends, and most family. I am powerless to do much more for him, and literally struggle just to keep my own sanity and our family financially afloat while he self-destructs (and I am apparently not doing that too well, paying privately for medical premiums and ALL of his many meds has forced me to choose between mortgage and medical..medical won.)
Our lives are SOOOOOO different now. Before the snap and PTSD onset, we had just built our first new home, had started looking for our first investment property, our child attended an exclusive private school, spouse graduated with his Masters...all of this with HARD work as NEITHER of us were born with a silver spoon (indeed, hubs was pumping gas when working on his first degree) and then ALL FRIGGIN HELL broke loose and we now fast forward and we are losing EVERYTHING.
Well, trying not to whine/throw a pity party (at least not tonight, tomorrow, however, I may revert to sobbing like a baby)....but just wanted to introduce my situation (hate to call it a "life", as it is no life that I; or you, I am sure, ever chose for ourselves.)
I hope that I can be accepted at this group and extend my thanks for everyone's personal accounts as they TRULY let me know that I am not alone.
