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I Just Found Out My Fiance Didn't Get Me A V Day Card Even Though He Had Plenty Of Time

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Whoa.,lots of people skip the idiocy that is a mass market Hallmark holiday. If you think love is measured in cards... You are missing the point of marriage.

So, I'm a massive control freak about Christmas presents. I'm not rational at all. I have to get a set that more or less matches the ideal from my childhood or I spend weeks crying every year. It is really stupid and pathetic. So you know what I do? I start buying my own darn Christmas presents in the summer and I put them in my husbands present stash spot. That way he doesn't get punished for my ridiculously specific requirements. They aren't his fault or his problem. ( for the record, my husband thinks this is a beautiful solution. He's happy to wrap the presents and put them under the tree for me--I "need" things like a pair of pajamas that fit, not super extravagant.)

I think you need to find a way to meet your own needs.
 
My partner is pretty hopeless at these things, I did take it personally for awhile, and I got upset with him, but I realised it was my problem, that I have to meet my own needs. I still pretty much suck at that I.e. self care and self love. But I don't put it on my partner, so I focus on gratitude for what I do get, however crazy, hilarious and not even something that often enters my universe.

DBT would be good for you is my suggestion.
 
@Kristina25 - What is the purpose of your post? Is it to vent that, once again, people around you that you are asking for things from, are not doing exactly what you want them to do? Or are you seeking feedback and support about this situation?

So far, many people on multiple threads has given you LOTS of support, suggestions, and feedback. You have argued or criticized it. every. single. time. You don't seem thankful for the support at all. Yet you keep posting the same type of threads, getting the same support offered, and you keep getting angry back at people here. You don't seem to want any suggestions on things to do to improve the situation or cope with it better either.

So what is the purpose of your post? What do you want by posting it?
 
I remember when I delivered flowers a long long time ago that a lady bought flowers for herself and had them delivered to her door while her husband was home. Apparently, he didn't give a damn about her and I felt sad for her that she was married to such a ***k. When I delivered them, she closed the door on him and said, "I bought these for myself because he won't buy anything for me or our anniversary or for any reason. So I bought them for myself to make him jealous."

My worry for her was immense. When I got back to the shop, I told my boss about the situation and concerned I was about it. He said not to worry about it as it's not our concern.

Two weeks later, the news stated that the woman was killed by her husband in regards to premeditated murder.
 
Uhm, what does this have to do with PTSD? Oh, right, nothing, because you're self diagnosing it amongst other disorders as your doctor refuses to give you a PTSD diagnosis.

Anyway, I personally think you're being extremely self-centered. Instead of verbalizing your wants and needs for this holiday, you're essentially throwing a fit because your boyfriend isn't the perfect boyfriend who can read your mind. Do you know that MANY people think valentines day is a complete and utter waste of a holiday created to just make money? And then there is the whole idea that its just sad that we actually need a holiday to express love! I personally think that love is not in chocolates or a card or flowers or jewelry or going out to dinner on some obligatory holiday. Love is in what we do each and every day for the people we care about. And, I'd say this guy damn well cares about you given that he has proposed and has agreed to support you.

I honestly don't know why you are here on the forum. None of your posts indicate a desire to heal. They are all about you and your self-centered wants. I don't even see anything remotely PTSD related which makes me think that your doctor didn't diagnose you with PTSD as he doesn't believe that you have it.

Which brings me to the fact that you've been caught in a lie. Yes, a lie. You joined the forum last year and your first post was about your boyfriend having PTSD. Now you say that post wasn't about your current boyfriend, but an ex boyfriend. Yet supposedly your current boyfriend has been giving you bad valentines day cards for the past two years? Maybe you should get your story straight before posting and lying to everyone. I see your behavior to be nothing but trollish. People do follow stories here on the forum, and inconsistencies are indeed called out when it seems that a member is being dishonest. It is irritating because we are a community of people who like to help each other, and you seem to want to just waste our time.

And you're mad because he didn't get you anything A WEEK IN ADVANCE?!?! Good lord.

If you want something to happen, MAKE IT HAPPEN! I can't stand when people expect others to be mind readers and then throw a fit when they aren't. Major pet peeve of mine. Every year I have an AWESOME birthday because *I* make it happen! Do I sit around and wait for everyone to make it awesome! HELLS NO! Holidays aren't like when we were kids when we had people who automatically made them awesome for us. If we want a great holiday, it is up to us to make it happen. Every year I plan my birthday to the nines. Sometimes its a day spent alone, but I am fine with that, because its MY day. I also plan a number of birthday dinners and such. So you say this is lame? Oh, well, its better than being disappointed because I am expecting others to be a mind reader and give me what I want! I hate it when other people throw pity parties....."well, nobody did anything for *me* on my birthday....it must be nice to have such a great day..." Yeah, but only because *I* made it happen! Same goes for any other holiday. My advice is to grow up and act like an adult if you want something and stop expecting everyone to be a damn mind reader!
 
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Wow @Ladyghosthunter - that is really awful. :( Both that he never did anything for her any time of the year, and that he killed her. That is heartbreaking.

I think this guy is really different. He already got her a gift, just not a card. When she complained, he then made a commitment to get a card and he is going to mail it to her so that it reaches her by Valentines day no less.
 
Well on a lighter note I've never heard of the term V day before as I thought it was valentines day. But apparently V Day February February 14, is a global activist movement to end violence against women and girls inspired by Eve Ensler's play, The Vagina Monologues.

I like this version of V day much better. Puts things in perspective, getting mad about your boyfriend not getting you the right V card or actually campaigning for violence against women that is something to put your anger towards and perhaps do something positive.
 
I'm not sure, Digger. I think the situation that happened in my case was something different. If cards and edible arrangements aren't good enough for the poster, I know people who would love to have cards and things given to them out of genuine and unconditional love. People here need that unconditional love and not some whiny BS from someone doesn't appreciate what they have.
 
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