I Just Found Out My Fiance Didn't Get Me A V Day Card Even Though He Had Plenty Of Time

[illusionist]

puts a new meaning into Stiff upper lip!.....sorry couldn't resist.

 

[StellaBlue]

Yep! and there are those that believe that CPTSD is the same as BPD + PTSD and I am inclined to agree.

Totally taking the OP off topic (then again, steaks and blow jobs probably weren't anticipated either) - but I disagree. I think there is overlap in the symptoms and I think that many of the treatments for BPD are effective with "C" PTSD (in fact, the second stage in DBT for BPD is to deal with PTSD). I suspect that many folks with PTSD exhibit BPD symptoms when stressed...then again, I think many "sane" folks experience BPD symptoms when stressed. This, of course, is my personal opinion having "come up" through the mental health system when BPD was a label slapped on (mostly women) who were disagreeable or treatment "resistant", so I still have a sense of it being a derogatory and unhelpful diagnosis. Again, just my opinion.

I'm also calling shenanigans on @Santa_Laurie - from the little I know about you, I have a hard time believing you didn't know what a blow job was!

 

[Queen Boudica]

Yes I disagree too. My sister had BPD, it is vastly different but like all these diagnosis there are common elements.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

I have said all I intend to say on this thread, I have had a lot to think about and as a diagnosed sufferer of BPD desperate to recover I end any further involvement from here on in.

End of rant.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Oh and I agree @Kristina25 if you have BPD you are vulnerable to abusive men, you link yourself to them because they will care for you but they are looking at your vulnerability, problems is BPD untreated leads to a whole load of immature behaviour and tantrums and outbreaks that mean that guy either dumps you and leads you devastated and suicidal or he becomes your abuser or a whole load of other stuff. My sister went from married older abusive men who dumped her, to younger drug abusers who abused and then dumped her and then she suicided. She was diagnosed with immature personality disorder at one point, though difficult to keep up with the number of things they put on her and then she was so doped up with meds, who knows what was the real her?

Listen to the advice, get therapy before you get involved with any man. You need help. I know it is terrifying and you want someone to look after you, problem is a lot of abusive men, like to look after women and it never ends up pretty.

 

[sun seeker]

That "is" how cPTSD is diagnosed officially, or PTSD + Dissociative Disorder (again struggles emotion regulation).

I've wondered about this. I like the definition of CPTSD being BPD + PTSD, but then I wonder about the definition of BPD in the first place. I've seen it defined as having the same traits as CPTSD but without necessarily having the trauma. I stress the "necessarily" because a great majority of people with BPD do have significant early trauma, especially sexual abuse. A smaller percentage do not, and the disorder is then assumed to have a combination of genetic and unknown factors. This is where I have a problem. No one can say for sure that this smaller percentage don't in fact have a qualifying trauma. That doesn't fit with the data, based on several reputable studies, that up to 50% of children who are sexually abused have amnesia around the event. I also suspect it is ignoring the harm in more subtle kinds of trauma such as emotional neglect or failure to bond with an infant, perhaps coupled with a genetic susceptibility. This is where Laurence Heller's work on early trauma is so important.

My own tentative definition of BPD is CPTSD for which a causative trauma has not yet been identified.

 

[anthony]

PTSD is typically comorbid when BPD is diagnosed. Again though, only around 20% of those citing cPTSD are BPD, about 50% are highly dissociative, according to current data. This is why there is such an issue with the cPTSD diagnosis as an argument... though wait and see what happens. Another thread topic that one...

I'm for the beer and blow job though for V-Day...

 

[Queen Boudica]

Wine, chocolate and hot sex for me. Have to settle for a bubble bath instead.

 

[Chava]

I appreciate the distinction between c-PTSD and BPD (@anthony pointed out). I've been through several therapists, psychiatrists, and hospitals, never diagnosed with BPD. I don't relate to it either, aside from some object permanency stuff maybe that seems to have improved some through therapy, but my response to attachment stuff is quite different. I'm very avoidant and relate more easily to dissociative criteria. And having no sense of self.

Supposedly you can have BPD without trauma too, but I know the correlation to trauma is pretty strong. Anyway, we need better distinction between BPD and c-PTSD. They are not the same thing, though understandably because of the childhood connections and involvement in personality development, there is often overlap in presentation.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yes I disagree too. My sister had BPD, it is vastly different but like all these diagnosis there are common elements.

(Sorry for the full quote, sort of needed it all!)

I agree with @Lizio after knowing people who have had complex trauma and also knowing personality disordered people. VAST differences.... Actually, I can pick out the similarities between different personality disorders (ie borderline and narcissistic) better than complex trauma and borderline.

I think that part of it may indeed be that the typical personality disordered person is "symptomatic" all the time whereas someone with "cptsd" only exhibits such disordered traits when they are triggered or stressed. I know I've shown such traits, but everyone assures me that I most definitely do not have a personality disorder (health professionals and my dad who was married to my PD mom so he can readily spot the differences.)

I also think that part of the reason that some don't have PTSD as well as a Borderline is because we all react differently to trauma. My mom most definitely does not have PTSD but she is most definitely somewhere on the spectrum of having a disordered personality. That is, some of us develop PTSD, some of us develop BPD, and some of us develop both. (While others develop nothing at all.) And then you throw in the fact that people oftentimes think that trauma has not affected them.... However, I do not believe that personality disorders are only a function of "nurture". I think there is indeed a "nature " component as well.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Yes, my mother definitely BPD, she was symptomatic all the time, no emotional regulation, fought with everyone, child like, controlling. But I think there are also different levels of BPD aren't there. My sister was a bit different, she sort of wanted to stay like a child and do nothing and have everyone look after her and if she didn't get her way would use every emotional trick and be abusive, like a toddler. She was like a really scared child. Different to my mother.

I just know the damage BPD can do to anyone around if it is not dealt with. If my mother had not had it (and she was the result of Spanish civil war and poverty and abusive violent father) then me and my sister might have had a chance. I got the Dissociation complex trauma, although yes, when symptomatic I trigger myself because I can see similarities to my mother and sister's behaviour and that scares the shit out of me. More than anything else that makes me want to do something about this and work on myself. I know how damaging it is.

 

[Tanishq]

@digger I doubt the OP reads all the replies. Seriously doubting. No likes, no acknowledgement from them to people who are giving her much needed and much valuable support, repetitive questions over and over. It seems she is looking for similar people like herself and she won't get them here to her unfortunate. Sorry to say that.

But oh, this people have given their best here. They look so patient, thoughtful and caring to me. Credit to their patience.