Feeling like you need to escape is something I know all too well. Every time I look at death as being an option I'm either too concerned I'll survive, or the unknowns death brings. This led me to conclude that death, no matter how much it looks like a way out sometimes, brings only new problems. You never really trade up with death or improve your situation. But in life you can trade up, and improve your situation, and that is worth holding on to. I have to convince myself about this fairly often; but I'll cut to the chase.
What he did to you was tell you that he never loved you; which bad as it sounds removes uncertainty. This means that you can concentrate on loving yourself rather than wasting it on someone who doesn't love you. I know this is hard, as I often love people who don't return the favor. But I have found by relaxing, focusing inward, separating yourself from that atmosphere by going out and doing things, and finding things about yourself that you love such as an existing or new accomplishment does wonders. I need to do this more often, but the times where I have done it I end up feeling better about myself. And once you feel better about yourself you can see that you don't really deserve to deal with these things, and you'll feel better about letting go and finding someone who will love you.
But love yourself, and express that love for yourself toward other people. Eventually someone who sees who you really are will approach you and love you.
