I Know I Shouldn't Feel This Way

[Lauren214]

I know I shouldn't but I feel depressed tonight. Ive been sitting here today thinking about Life, where I've been where I haven't where is my life headed where would I be if I did everything differently. I deeply regret my past because If I did so much better and tried in high school and I actually cared the first time I went to College my attack never would've happened I still would've been a virgin and I probably would be in Medical school already. I don't regret some of the wonderful friends I have made along the way but I regret the things I did.

 

[Miasmith]

Don't let yourself get like that. remember that some one right now is having it allot harder then you. dedicate your happiness and success to all of the people out there who are suffering.
I never use to get this but one day my partner sat me down and told me, right now something is happening to someone that you could not even begin to imagine, In there honour you should be grateful and happy.

I hope that if you think about it like this then you might be able to overcome your emotions :)

Good luck, I know what its like when your down so try not to stay down for to long :)

 

[franciemarnie]

I think we always do the best we can at the time, make the decisions that make sense at the time. The fact that we survived at all is a marvel.

It is human to regret. I have done my fair share. But if you can, have a little compassion for yourself. Who knows but that the direction you now take given all the good and bad that has happened doesn't perhaps lead you on a greater path than any you could have ever imagined. Your fantastic future awaits.

 

[Philippa]

I think it can help to put things in perspective, but I also think that trying to minimize your own suffering because someone else is having it worse is a good way to beat yourself up and put guilt on yourself for feeling what you are obviously feeling. If you are feeling depressed, then it isn't going to help matters that you feel guilty or like you shouldn't feel what you feel.

If you feel depressed, then that is what you feel. Yes, there are people right now who have it much worse, and are going through things neither of us could ever imagine...but that does not mean that your feelings are invalid.

 

[bell]

What everyone else has said here is great advice. I'd also remember that if you had the chance to do it all again, it could have gone even "worse." Thinking this way reminds me that I did the best that I could at the time.

And about medical school, yes it could have happened, but it also very well could not have happened even if you did everything "right."

You are on the path you are on now, not that path you hold in your head, so it's time to embrace who you are now and move forward. Stressing about "where you could be" will get you nowhere but further down (as you seem to know), but also ignores the lessons that you've learned along the way. And you have great friends that you may not have met otherwise, which sounds like you have a great support system.

Also, if you were attacked as you said, YOU did *nothing* wrong. I know it's hard to feel that way, especially afterwards, but the attack didn't happen because you didn't care enough about school. It happened because you came across someone evil.