OK, here is a little story I shared with Shoshin today, it stems from a private joke we have (Shoshin and I) about getting fit and healthy physically.
Anyway, I'm sure anyone following the BB and Samsara love story will find this amusing and hopefully get a chuckle -- If you don't, then maybe some "learn to laugh at yourself" exercises are in order. More on that in another episode.
There is a fine line between putting yourself down and embracing your short comings, accepting them and lovingly taking the piss out of yourself and those you respect and love. I graduated that school some time ago, BB is well aware and he's also very close to graduating from this school. So I am proud to say and still teach people every day how they may come to that day -- the 'I love myself enough to laugh at my short comings graduation day'.
Laughter is medicine, The best medicine of all!
You have to remember as you read this, to get it, you need to understand that in every day life I am a witty, facetious (you Nth Americans call that sarcasm, but it's not, probably closer to black comedy, but it's still not, anyway, I digress ;p ) young smart ass.
Seriously, I veil my emotional cyclones with this humour even to myself. The biggest gift I ever gave myself was allowing myself the ability to laugh at things, people and above all MYSELF!
And without further a do:
Haha! Funny story for you.
BB has about 6 foot comprising of 5% body fat and the other 95%, a brick sh8t house of muscle.
If he wasn’t a chef he’d be a personal trainer and lifts 100 lb (on each side). How do I know this? Well he likes to subtly gloat his “he-man-ness” to me. It’s mostly his way of convincing himself that he’s convincing me that he’s physically healthy, despite his unquenchable ‘thirst’ for mind altering liquids.
So he has a history of very little sympathy for people who are really fat or unfit. Ironically he thinks it’s quite simple to get in and keep in shape. Ironic because, well he's not in shape and could be 'easily" doing something about some of that. Ironic because of all the other thrashing of his liver, kidneys and chest that he seems to think is OK, or pretends, probably because he can’t SEE the damage.
So, to hit a nerve in him, I have deliberately likened his beer drinking and inability to stay on the wagon to an obese fatty trying to go on a diet.
See he’s been on at me to send him texts saying "don't drink". He even told me he considered getting it tattooed to his hand – haha. Dickhead!
So Anyway, the other day he alluded to having 'a bit of a beer belly' as he has not been at the gym for a few weeks and partying like it is his job. I jumped right on it and said/borderline yelled,
“OMG are you a fat bastard?”
Haha!
He’s all,
“NO!!!!! Comon woman! putcher gun away!”
To that I just bellowed down the phone cracking up,
“Hahahahahahaha!
Awwww! BB’s a fat bastard!
HAHAHAHA!
Don’t worry honey, I’ll love you anyway, it’s OK!
*insert the most facetious tone imaginable then add in a bit more*
Baby!
So... you’ll have to go on a diet, won't you fatty?
Oh my! Now don't be crap!
You can’t keep putting it off till Monday, you gotta work out how to pass the cake shop without stuffing your fat face one day”
Hahahaah! I’m still laughing just thinking about this little joke we keep having since the weekend.
We laughed a lot, but I know he’s a vein little fukker and I know I don’t want to be a wanker and send him dumb ‘mum-like’ texts that say ‘don’t drink”, so the other day, Aloha Friday (the day BB has off and usually tells himself it’s ‘BB waste-iod day’), I send him a text, when I knew it was later in the night and it said:
“Keep your hand out of the cookie jar fatty!”
The next day he was to tell me that just before he read the text, he was sitting with this little Vietnamese kid in the resort, some kid of one of the bosses at the restaurant where he works on his day off (don’t forget we are meeting in Vietnam).
So he’s sitting with this kid, and he gets along with kids really well. So he’s playing pokemon with this kid, and trying to stay out of Aloha Friday trouble.
The kid says,
“I like you how you are tonight BB”
“Huh? Whatcha mean?”
“Last week you came out and punched the wall, over there *pointed to a mark on the wall* BB, you drink too much! You act stupid, I don’t like you when you’re drunk.
Anyway, you’re getting fat BB, look at yourself, you’re fat! So you better stop drinking BB”
All this from a 5 year old! Haha. And just as he said that, BB got my text.
“Keep your hand out of the cookie jar fatty!”
He said he felt this surge of our psychic connection yet again, he said he got this shiver like I was talking to him through this kid. I guess was! Haha. He said he plans to spend more time with the Vietnamese kid.
So two days ago, I got a text when I got home from work:
“I kept my hand out of the cookie jar tonight”
