I Need Advice

[Taylor30313]

A couple months ago I was talking with a coworker. And he shared with me that he has PTSD. And it took me back. Mostly because he said it so easily.. But I was torn. Should I tell him or keep it to myself. Obviously I'm still unsure lol. What would you do? I wouldn't tell him why I have it, because my reasons are more private than his I feel.. I just think we are all faced with moments in life where it's important to share something with someone. And I think this is one of those. He isn't the most popular because he is kind of annoying lol and I hope he'd gain some sort of sense he's not alone. I think that's meaningful.

 

[joeylittle]

I think disclosing can be really great, for both parties. Not quite the same, but a work colleague had called in sick, and seemed to want to talk about it the next day. They eventually got round to explaining they had (another) panic attack and were wondering if they had PTSD. It was really empowering for me to be able to say, "well you might have it; the thing to do is see someone about a diagnosis. I have it, and it's no fun but knowing is better than not-knowing"

Made me feel like I've gotten somewhere. But I also trust this persons discretion. I think that's a thing to consider, always. (Though ultimately, I don't care anymore who knows).

 

[Deleted member 19804]

I think you already know what to do :) sounds to me like you want to tell him. You don't have to tell him anything about what caused it with you. I think it can indeed be very good for both of you to know someone who understands what you're going through.

But please don't feel obligated to tell him because he told you. That was his decision and you should do whatever you think is best for you.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Like snowhite said, I think it's important to make the decision to tell someone because you feel confident and good from doing that.

 

[shell]

Because he shared it so easily, would you feel okay if he also shared what you shared as easily. He may not feel the same about it as you, and not see an issue with revealing what you shared. While you are understanding, my experience has showed me that people's attitudes can change when they find out someones mental illness, which has made me decide to keep my mouth shut about mine.

 

[marylouise]

Be careful. You don't really know this person. He's not a friend. You don't know if it's safe to share your experience with him. I definitely wouldn't share your PTSD with him unless you are comfortable with *everybody* in your workplace knowing about it. I'm normally comfortable with sharing a general sense of my struggles in life (I think it's important), but work situations are different.

It could be that your coworker shared this so easily because he has bad boundaries. You said he's annoying, and that's a clue that he does. Of course I don't know, but he could. People with bad boundaries can be challenging to deal with. Part of bad boundaries can be sharing inappropriate things with other people. For example, he may share your PTSD with someone else to try to bond with them. Sometimes people do this to create drama triangles. For example, he could tell your supervisor that you have PTSD and that it's affecting your work performance, because he wants your job or he's jealous of your success. If you tell him, something like this *could* happen. If you don't tell him, it won't happen.

If you really want to tell him for your own personal reasons, then I'd suggest getting to know him better. Ask him for a coffee. Eat lunch together. Stop by his workspace for a chat. Become friends, in other words. Then divulge your history. But it doesn't sound like you're interested in him personally like that. Don't do it for him, whatever you do. Do it for you.

 

[anthony]

I definitely wouldn't share your PTSD with him unless you are comfortable with *everybody* in your workplace knowing about it.

That is the advice I would give... because he freely tells people, and if you tell him, you then lost control of who knows. People don't keep secrets all that well, more often than not.

 

[Go Hungry]

I would say no. The gossip in my workplace is so bad that if I told someone, 5 minutes later even Batman would know about it, and he isn't even a real person. This guy mind not sharing his own illness, but you'd be giving an awful lot of power to somebody who you don't really know.

 

[Taylor30313]

Thank you everyone. You all had great advice. And I'm going to listen to all of you. I don't think I'm quite ready for everyone to know. Even though I'm personally ok that I have it, I don't need others to know and judge me for it. He does appear to have some boundary issues.. Maybe things will change and I'll be presented with a moment to tell him. But until then, everyone I just fine not knowing :).

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It is a workplace and it is really none of his business for so many reasons. Personally I do not tell many people that I have PTSD. I used to tell everyone, I had bad boundries at the time and all it caused was more troubles and drama and bullying for me. I wish you the best in this situation.