I Recovered Faster Than Ever After (jury Selection)

[Nam]

I had jury duty today. It was early, around 8am. (This is early for me. I don't usually get up until 11am.) Out of the fifty or so people, I was selected as the 25. They proceeded to ask us questions about bias and being impartial. After I found out that it was a sexual abuse case (my gut hit the floor), I knew that they needed to know my history. They do allow private meetings (approach the bench) with both parties, but you are being watched going in and coming out. I knew I had to keep it together in there if I was to walk out of there with some semblance of sanity.

I tried to sum it up in two sentences. "I was involved in childhood sexual abuse. I now suffer from PTSD from it and it's ongoing." I held it together until they asked me questions I couldn't answer! How am I supposed to keep panic from tangling my throat!? Can I make an impartial decision? My mind said yes, my panic was a resounding no. But then they asked if I would be impartial, if let's say it was a theft case. Well, of course. Because of that answer, I was not excused.

I hated walking back into the courtroom with curious eyes on me. My heart thumped like crazy for a good 15 minutes after I realized I was going to have to still sit there.

But, I learned some things. I learned that I can calm down very quickly after briefly telling my history and how it has changed me. That last part is the hardest to get out. I don't want to be weaker or less than because of it...I know that's not true although it felt like it in this instance. Before, it would take at least a day, maybe more to recover.

They wisely did not select me to be on the jury. What a nerve wracking experience, but I walked out of there without shedding a tear, only shook a little, and stuttered terribly. All in all a good day in a not so good situation.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Good job!

i hate to say it because its a civic duty, but PTSD can indeed be used as a reason for not doing jury duty......I have been summoned but told them about my disorder and I was excused from serving altogether. (In their best interest as I would have made sure I was dismissed from every case. "Uhm, sorry, but its impossible for me to sit and listen for an extended period of time in a room full of strangers...")

 

[KwanYingirl]

Good for you!! That took a lot of courage. I also want to thank you for being a responsible citizen and doing the right thing by disclosing your history. The truth and nothing but...
And before you judge yourself harshly, remember all those other people are battling demons of some kind too. I hope you get a victimless crime as if that exists, but you know what I mean?

 

[reallydown]

Way to keep it together, Nam!

 

[hodge]

Good job, Nam. I couldn't imagine being on a jury, even for something not related to my traumas, as I can't concentrate for very long.

 

[Nam]

Good job!

i hate to say it because its a civic duty, but PTSD can indeed be used as a reason for not doing jury duty......I have been summoned but told them about my disorder and I was excused from serving altogether.

I needed a doctor's note in writing. My psych, my therapist, and my GP would think me fit for jury duty. I function well most of the time and I am currently doing well. I wanted to serve if I could. But this one...I think it could only be made worse if it was a child sexual abuse case, which this did not involve a minor. I told them my triggers: vulnerability, trapped, taking advantage. I don't think this case had anthing to do with any of those. It didn't matter, I would have served if legal counsel saw me fit after full disclosure.

 

[Nam]

I hope you get a victimless crime as if that exists, but you know what I mean?

Any crime to property only, traffic offenses, and drugs are okay to serve on. The last time I was summoned I was excused because it was a domestic abuse case. I'd be a little biased on that one.

 

[Sammyiam]

Wow you were very brave. I couldn't do it in any way or form, I would be to scared that someone would tell me off and I'd get into trouble etc. plus my memory wouldn't allow me to do it as a couple of hours after I have talked to someone I have so much trouble trying to remember what we have even talked about. My psychologist and Doctor have both said if I need a letter to get out of anything I think I carn't do, to just e mail or ring and they will both write out what I need.

I think you did an amazing job at trying @Nam and are very proud of you.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Ahhh, gotcha. I only needed to write down that I am disabled with ptsd on some form and that was the end of that. If need be, my doc would have backed up my claim.