I Shared My Sadness And Felt Loved

[jewel]

I am not really much different than most of you on here. My PTSD I from a multi car accident. I struggle with SI and have had two ER visits within two months. I felt the shame and embarrassment aft the fact that now my neighbors know, because the fire department and police were here. I don't really know my neighbors very well, just to say hello but still, no one came to see if I was okay the next day. I felt very invisible.

I didn't tell my parents. I didn't want them to think differently of me. I have always been strong and e one people run to for help. I was with the family and whispered to my sis that I had two ER visits due to taking too many meds. She came over and hugged me. I felt loved. Two days later, over egg foo young, I told my folks in a very matter of fact way almost like I was saying "this food is really good and btw, I tied to overdose twice. How is your meal. Mom?"

Both my parents listened and heard how I was feeling. Both said all the right things, I love you, let's get you the right help, and hugs and kisses. I felt like I was there and I was no longer invisible. They know and now I cannot hide my issues any longer. There really are people who care and who want to help.

I also told my childhood friend of thirty years, she was so sad knowing I was going through this alone. I didn't know i mattered anymore. For the first time since the accident I feel like I might have support.

My suggestion for those who have similar circumstances:
Go out and tell someone who doesn't matter to you about your SI
Tell someone closer, perhaps an acquaintance or a friend
Then tell family

Telling is freeing and lifts the veil we walk around wearing daily.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear jewel, I'm so sorry you felt that way and went through that, and you are absolutely right that you are so loved- write it down and think of it a lot, after-all we think of the 'lousy' stuff we might as well practise concentrating on the wonderful stuff!

My only caveat would be this: tell who you trust +/or who you think may 'get it' and not cause 'secondary wounding', because it can be traumatic in and of itself if you reach out for help (seriously, I'm not talking about emotional threats etc, but a logical, concrete admittance of your powerlessness over the situation +/ or control of yourself, and request help) and another 'blames you' (or advocates for S, even). If one knows family etc would, my guidance would be don't tell them (not even their 'fault' necessarily, so to speak- you have to understand where they're coming from, their own traumas/ attitudes/ fears, etc).

But it's another thing for you to be grateful for and take heart in, that you 'did it' and you have wonderful support around you and people who love you so so much!
I'm so glad everything went so well!, Hugs + + to you. :)

 

[Vcircle]

I am really pleased for you and I would love to have the courage to do as you say. I have hinted at a friend who is a psych but she keeps saying that i need to see a therapist - but all i need is for my friend to be a friend for me and to listen. I have told no-one.

I admire your courage.

 

[jewel]

Junebug, thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them and take them to heart. I do agree that you should tell a trusting person. Your advice is very good.

Vcircle, I have found that reaching out and saying "I need help" is better than beating around the bush. Just be honest with your friend. If you don't try you will not give him/her an opportunity to show you what he/she is capable of doing for you. That is the best case. The worst case is you get disappointed. How is that any different than how you are now? Just putting that our there.

Here is a DBT worksheet that may be helpful for you. You can always email me here and I will respond to you if you need a friend.


DBT

PROS and CONS
DISTRESS TOLERANCE

AU-ACTION URGE

PROS and CONS for TOLERATING the DISTRESS

PRO :
Why do I want to tolerate this at this moment?




CON :
What is the hard part? what am I giving up?



PROS and CONS for NOT TOLERATING the DISTRESS

Pros:
What will asking get me?




Cons:
What is the not asking costing me?