My mother has a personality disorder. When I was young 5-10 she would tell me she would kill herself if I went to my dads for the scheduled custody. I never knew how I would find her when I got back. If there would be blood...
I worked on that. And it wasn’t all my mother did.
My daughter became suicidal at 16. She had started self harming before. She was until recently hospitalized. But my children are adopted and all have their own special needs and reasons.
But the last time we had a therapy session she yelled at me how she was going to kill herself. And that’s when I kinda broke and my therapists/doc got really really serious about me working on having PTSD. And I have wonderful doctors #blessed.
But it’s just so hard to get through my head that I was abused, that my daughter was my retrigger and now I have to face this. Because my mother and my daughter both are still in my life. What do you do about that!?!?!
My daughter called me last night from her new place. She chose a therapeutic foster home in lieu of working to come home. And I didn’t talk to her. She didn’t leave a message. But I have no idea what to say to this girl. And I don’t know if I need to!
One of the hardest things for me, about accepting PTSD, is that what I’ve been told and taught may not be right. Like I’ve always told myself I had “excuses“ for not doing something, when there very well could have been legitimate reasons. I’ve NEVER been good to myself. Blah. I just don’t know how to tell.
Feeling overwhelmed. Would love some good vibes or any shares. Have therapy tomorrow!! ?
I worked on that. And it wasn’t all my mother did.
My daughter became suicidal at 16. She had started self harming before. She was until recently hospitalized. But my children are adopted and all have their own special needs and reasons.
But the last time we had a therapy session she yelled at me how she was going to kill herself. And that’s when I kinda broke and my therapists/doc got really really serious about me working on having PTSD. And I have wonderful doctors #blessed.
But it’s just so hard to get through my head that I was abused, that my daughter was my retrigger and now I have to face this. Because my mother and my daughter both are still in my life. What do you do about that!?!?!
My daughter called me last night from her new place. She chose a therapeutic foster home in lieu of working to come home. And I didn’t talk to her. She didn’t leave a message. But I have no idea what to say to this girl. And I don’t know if I need to!
One of the hardest things for me, about accepting PTSD, is that what I’ve been told and taught may not be right. Like I’ve always told myself I had “excuses“ for not doing something, when there very well could have been legitimate reasons. I’ve NEVER been good to myself. Blah. I just don’t know how to tell.
Feeling overwhelmed. Would love some good vibes or any shares. Have therapy tomorrow!! ?