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Coci
Here I am 53 years old and my PTSD has been triggered. My PTSD is due to huge abandonment issues from living in a crazy alcoholic home in childhood.
What has triggered this badly is my husband and I have to walk away from our home and he wants to move to Arizona where his mother live. My marriage has been very toxic. I told my husband he has to go to marriage counseling or I don't know if I can move with you.
We've been together for 30 years and where I'm at is I'm terrified to live on my own and I'm just as terrified to move with him. I guess the good new is at least he's agreed to counseling.
Anyhow I'm sick and tired of letting my past affect me sooooooooooo much. I have high anxiety, like fight or flight mode. I'm sure my adrenal glands are exhausted, depression, suicidal ideation.
I'm now having EMDR therapy which has been good. I had a real awakening after a session last week. After a few minutes of EMDR I realized the situation we were working on, I was 5 years old and I said out loud to my therapist. This is not my shit! This is your shit! Referring to my parents. I then realized how I have been carrying around the responsibility of these two sick people.
That was a good and huge awakening for me. Sorry long first message.
What has triggered this badly is my husband and I have to walk away from our home and he wants to move to Arizona where his mother live. My marriage has been very toxic. I told my husband he has to go to marriage counseling or I don't know if I can move with you.
We've been together for 30 years and where I'm at is I'm terrified to live on my own and I'm just as terrified to move with him. I guess the good new is at least he's agreed to counseling.
Anyhow I'm sick and tired of letting my past affect me sooooooooooo much. I have high anxiety, like fight or flight mode. I'm sure my adrenal glands are exhausted, depression, suicidal ideation.
I'm now having EMDR therapy which has been good. I had a real awakening after a session last week. After a few minutes of EMDR I realized the situation we were working on, I was 5 years old and I said out loud to my therapist. This is not my shit! This is your shit! Referring to my parents. I then realized how I have been carrying around the responsibility of these two sick people.
That was a good and huge awakening for me. Sorry long first message.
