I Tried Really Hard Not To Return Here But Here It Goes..

[J_trustno1]

@Hashi : Thanks for you reply. Your advice seemed quite wise. I have contacted few recruiting agencies this weekend and today. I have graduated in Master of chemical and materials engineering, Bachelor of Science (honors in chemistry), Bachelor of Science with Chemistry and statistics majors.

I have applied for all the temporary, entry level jobs. I have even applied for bank jobs which only require retail experience but they just turn me away saying they had numerous applicants when actually I have applied for that particular job in less than 2 hrs it's been on line. I worked at restaurant from the age of 12 (child labor) till I was 14, then I worked from the age of 14- 17 at supermarket, 18-19 at retail store. What more experience is needed for a job which is just entry level? I have more experience and more qualified but I suppose I am just not worth it. Sometimes I feel like ending my life because all that hard work, staying up nights, and not getting more than 2 hrs of sleep to no sleep during my examination days and during my masters years have gone to waste. I am just not getting anywhere in life, so what is the point of living? I keep feeling that my abusers are enjoying my helplessness in the job market because that's what they took enjoyment out of all my childhood till now. My hard work in study is all going to waste and they (mum's brother + sisters) call me being highly educated is because of my "ego" instead of my hardwork and internal drive n dedication.

With the science or engineering jobs, they were recruiting new graduates and i applied, at first i was given some hope on the phone interview, then after 2.5 weeks I received an email saying they aren't taking my application forward. I did email that person wanting to know what mistakes i have made and to provide me with some feedback, And I have NOT heard from them. I'm feeling like a loser right now and I totally agree with that neighbor when he called me useless and good for nothing last week when my thread was all chaotic last week.

 

[bell]

Just a reminder... If you're negative about your job search and/or yourself, it's going to come through on your cover letters, CVs, interviews... And given the chance to hire someone positive and someone negative, who would you choose?!

And temping is how I got my current job after years of looking for work. Apply to any temp agency you can find (the smaller ones tend to have less applicants) and once you've had your interview call them weekly (at the least) to see if there is work.

Yes, it is soul sucking, but you have to believe the job is out there. And do your darnedest to focus on the positive, because if you don't someone else will, and they'll get that job.

 

[Dana1010]

I am just not getting anywhere in life, so what is the point of living?

This sounds just like me before I decided to stop trying to match other people's picture of success and start living for myself. What's the worst they can do to you if you fall into their dreaded "loser" category? Not hang out with you, not sit in bars and talk about their materialistic, petty interests with you? Big whup.

I proposition you to stop thinking about life as a race to "get somewhere." Consider the great Buddhist adage, "There is nowhere to go and nothing to do." Take a breath. Better yet, simply notice that you are breathing, you're alive on earth, your life is now in this moment. Yes, I know you need to get a job like everyone else. You will. It might help to get into a lighter, easier, less grasping mindset about it.

And on that note, I recommend you look into beginning a little spiritual practice for yourself. Look for meditations on YouTube for letting go and letting God (you don't really have to believe for it to work), asking the universe to assist you, being at peace within to improve conditions on the outside, etc. Meditation, reiki, crystal healing - there are all sorts of things to try. I promise you I'm not a hippy dippy, spaced out, faerie-wings person, but these things really have helped me with PTSD and general life issues.

 

[J_trustno1]

This is what the feedback I've just received:

"We’ve had an overwhelming response to these positions , nearly 300 applications, so we have had to be very vigorous in the selection process. You did very well to get to where you did but there are other candidates who have more relevant backgrounds in terms of the type of work they’d held, with some also bringing very good attributes from activities not directly relating to their studies as well. So there are no faults I can highlight to you for working on, it is really that the other candidates that we’re looking at match more closely what Mobil are looking for. "


I had my eyes on this job and felt disappointed, cried for like 2 hrs over this. Seriously, am I just not good enough? Feeling like a loser just over a "job".

 

[joeylittle]

Sounds like they are saying you need to build some kind of work experience in your field as well as add to the personal side of your CV - activities, community engagement, stuff like that.

It's been brought up here before, I think - but what are your options for internships?

Also, can you contact your professors for advice and introductions/recommendations/job leads?

 

[J_trustno1]

I'm applying for internships and not yet hired. I feel i have wasted my time, money, education for nothing. Now I am starting to feel that neighbor was right. It does seem like racial discrimination going on. Why did they call me at first if they didn't see me good enough? They didn't have to call me and waste my time on an interview over the phone if I was not good enough at the first place. I am not getting anywhere in life and people are just coming up with excuses to protect themselves.

I have worked 11 yrs of life from the age of 12 - 23. How dare they tell me that I know nothing? There must be something fishy!

 

[joeylittle]

Why did they call me at first if they didn't see me good enough? They didn't have to call me and waste my time on an interview over the phone if I was not good enough at the first place.

No, they didn't have to call you and waste their time if you weren't good enough. Which means they wanted to interview you. Thinking that you weren't good enough in the first place doesn't really make sense; it's emotional reasoning.

I don't know the race dynamics of your country well enough - but racism is a real thing, and if that is in play at all, I'm really sorry. Discrimination is horrible.

Do you have access to employment resources through your university? It's possible you aren't interviewing well, and getting some coaching in that could make a difference.

Job searches are stressful, especially right after you've sweated your way through your degree programs. I hear you. But there's no real way around the challenge - you have to try and keep going. Just remember, YOU are not only your skill set. Don't confuse not getting hired with being a bad or worthless person.

 

[J_trustno1]

It was a job for new graduates which didn't require any past experience. I read their advert and applied based on what it asked for. I didn't cheat the application but the reasoning I got does not make sense to me. I want to quit this entire job hunt, I don't want to keep applying n be rejected my entire life. I've had enough of rejection in my life from childhood till now.

 

[Dana1010]

I also have no idea what the sociopolitical climate of NZ is like. What about other Indian people you went to school with? Are they getting hired? Is there a way for you to find out what other minorities in that region are saying about the topic of discrimination? When you go on interviews, do you see other minorities within the companies?

I think that person's response was predictable for an HR drone. Don't rule out nepotism - it could have been someone's little brat niece, cousin's fiance, brother in law, who the hell knows? In that case they'd have to give you a really vague answer. So, I don't know. Maybe with all your education you could get a job teaching, if not college at least high school. That would give you some experience. How feasible is moving for work?

 

[J_trustno1]

I also applied for this teaching diploma scholarship for which they rejected me. They were basically hiring people that can teach in rural areas in high school. I applied for it in July, they asked for my university transcript which I supplied to them (i had B, B+, A- and A average overall). I don't see the reason for me being rejected was my grades. They simply said I am not a suitable candidate. I really don't get what a better candidate is?

Here is what i was told:

"Thank you for your interest in Teach First NZ and for the time and effort you have invested in applying to our programme.

We are sorry to inform you that, after careful consideration of your candidacy, you have been unsuccessful in progressing to the next stage of selection for the Teach First NZ programme."


I'm kinda losing my patience now.

 

[bell]

So now you have a negative attitude based on your background and racism. Again, think about it, with that *attitude,* why *should* they hire you when I'm betting donuts to dollars that most of the other candidates (who were also probably just as discouraged) were positive?

My suggestion: STOP blaming outside forces, and think about how you are coming across in interviews. Are you defensive? Tired? Frustrated? Angry?

Dealing with PTSD and keeping your emotions in check, can be very difficult. But sometimes, we need to take a good look at how we're coming across to other people and take responsibility for the fact that we may not be coming across as our best.

 

[J_trustno1]

@bell : well, I've got nothing left than hating myself for not being good enough. I don't have anything else to write to defend myself. Fine, I admit I am the worst person here or in the universe if that makes everyone happy :).