Courelly,
You are down to the wire now. Cold feet are expected. Put a mantra in your head and it is your "rule"...for me it was
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
And telling myself "we can always get back together --- LATER".
And reminding myself as per the professionals ---- he will not change unless he hits rock bottom and I stop enabling his behavior.
So 2 reasons for me and 1 for him :)
This is your chance to clear the fog and make important life decisions for YOU. You cannot do this in his presence and it takes a bit of time to clear it. Give yourself that chance..its like you are a bit mind controlled right now...it really was that for me.
Practical:
He may up his ante. If he was sincere he would have done this a long time ago....right now his meal ticket and punching bag is getting away.
DO NOT do a "talking set down" with him....tell him you need time to "think" on your own and do not let him push you into Yes/No on anything.
Go for a walk. Leave the house. Put a timer literally or in your head....3 minutes of relationship talk...firmly say "not now I have other things to deal with" and walk away.
Go to a coffee shop with your computer. Talk with US. Talk to your family.
Walk the dog. Does your dog deserve a better emotional environment? Funny how considering the situation for another gives you strength.
My husband tried to make a play to stay in the house after I called his "suicide bluff". It was so ugly and he scared me so bad only to suddenly drop the ruse. What he didn't know was that I had volunteered to take care of a cat with a broken pelvis. I was picking him up and thought caring for some"one" would also make me feel better.
When he said he wasn't leaving...after everything he put me though....the 10 hour "discussions" ..... keeping me from sleeping...worry about his "suicide".....
I realized I was bringing an injured cat to this sick environment .... and with a strength I didn't know I had I threw him out. I stood tall and opened the door and told him to GET OUT NOW. He stood all pathetic in the driveway as I drove off to get my kitty.
This was not the end of him....nor will it be with yours but this step is your first necessary one towards freedom.
Take your dog and GO.
Its time, you know it even though you are scared and worried. Even if you balk and start to cave....I don't care if you told him you will stay. Get up and get out. Read your own posts.....pretend it isn't you. You know you would tell "that woman" to RUN. The mere fact you inquired with police for potential safety support clearly indicates your relationship is deeply unhealthy. Normal "breakup"... it would never cross your mind!
This is about you now. Only you.
We are free thank the good Lord!!
YES WE ARE!!!
Courelly, you don't hear us lamenting these guys are no longer in our life.....this side is a very very good place.
Join us.
