If your therapist is fantastic, I would advise you not to quit.
I'm also going through the grim process of talking about what happened, but I have to take breaks from it and have sessions talking about other things, like coping, challenges in other aspects of life, dealing with people and forthcoming events etc. Saying something doesn't mean that every therapy session from now on has to be relentless trauma work.
(We never do small talk though, and I wouldn't want to spend a session (and my savings) talking about the weather. Bernie's Mom, I'm a bit concerned about what you're saying. If you're not ready to talk about trauma, I think therapy should be all about getting stronger and more stable. Otherwise, what's the purpose of going? I don't want to take this thread off topic but maybe you'd like to start a thread about it if you want to discuss it here on the forum?)
Doing trauma work, we spend one or more sessions preparing before I talk about a specific thing. This time I've excelled myself, and in preparation to take in and talk about a trauma collage I made, I've made another collage about why I don't want to talk about the first one. :confused: But it's helping, because I can discuss in advance things like how much shame I feel without being specific yet, so she knows about my concerns and can respond in the right way when I do talk about it.
Saying why I don't want to talk about something (or making a collage about my collage, lol) is always helpful for me. Usually, we talk about what I'm afraid will happen, whether there's anything I can do to make it easier (eg read aloud from my journal, bring in some artwork about it and talk about that) and whether there's anything my therapist can do to make it easier (eg hold my hand, not hate me).
There's a difference between dreading it but getting a benefit from it, and not being ready. If I'm not ready to talk about something, it can be retraumatising to try it. If I'm ready, then it's really difficult and upsetting, but that's contained - it feels awful but not out of control - and at some point I feel relief that I talked about it, and it's power over me gets less.
I'd suggest talking to your therapist about your concerns and having a discussion about how she plans to keep things safe in the session and what you can do to cope and stay grounded the rest of the week. You could also discuss the overall pace, what your fears are about talking etc. Maybe that could reassure you and help a little.
I do think the only way out is through. The good side of that is that it is a way out.
