I Was Attacked At Work Yesterday.

[Philippa]

Thankyou albatross. Obviously it was a very dysfunctional workplace, run by someone who doesn't know how to exert her authority or embrace it, and shouldn't be a boss.

Yes, this is the second time a woman in the workplace has pulled that crap on me, and there have not been any witnesses. I will make sure the next job I have there are cameras and a boss that knows how to be a boss. Better still, I might just start my own business, so at least I know there'll be someone I can actually count on to look after me.

It was a fairly new business, so I don't think she had gotten around to cameras or other basic things needed...like a functional toilet...showers etc. She'd had the girls ask plenty of times to get these things installed, but had not done anything about it.

If she had laid out the rules in a way that was totally clear and without contradictions, with all scenarios accounted for, then I feel fairly certain this wouldn't have even happened in the first place...or if it did, at least I'd be able to say with clarity that she broke that particular rule. There was too much confusion and not enough clarity about a few things...and the boss just seemed to swan in and out without feeling the need to really explain anything to me at all.

 

[DMerish]

Holy :poop: ! ! ! You deserve to work in an environment where bullying isn't going on.

I'm sorry YOU lost your job over this, but hopefully a better one will come along real soon.

:hug:

 

[Philippa]

Thanks. If this hadn't have happened, I probably would have left soon anyway...there were certain things that I wasn't totally thrilled about in that particular place, I just never thought it would end up going down the way it did. I'm sure something better will come along.

One thing is for sure, asshole bosses suck, but bosses that don't know how to be bosses are just as bad...even when they are nice.

 

[Stanley Shi-Yume]

That is just infuriating.

Thinking about the bosses actions too... this is the thing about bully behavior. When you attempt to bring the garbage behavior into the open to condemn it, the bully will first want to mock you for it and get people to join in mocking you so they will not agree with you and won't believe the bad behavior. I had a very similar experience with a guy who was bullying my wife at her lab.

What I did was send him a message strongly suggesting he not speak to her anymore. The message had sharp expression of my disappointment and at no point did it say anything like "if you don't I'm going to get you" or even close to that. What bully did in response was a very snaky move to rebroadcast my message (so I'm told) to their company and state that my threatening him made him feel unsafe at work.

I don't even know if he changed the message, nor did anyone ever ask me to verify what I originally sent. I did show it to my wife though after I got over how pissed that made me that no one still would take her seriously or do something about him, the only reason I felt I had to directly communicate my support for her since no one there was taking any action and she still had to work with him with no supervision (a violation of the company's last-shift policy in the first place).

The rebroadcast was in turn used by the company's management to further shame and discipline my wife for being a victim of sexual harassment. She was asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement along with the bully and 1 witness, stating that no one could talk about what had happened with anyone in the company, and surprise surprise others besides them continued to talk about it anyway after the bully was moved down in the company to a different role... since they refused to fire him over it or let my wife move to the analyst team in their lab she had been going for.

Well, my wife quit after they tried to write her up for an alleged violation of the contract that they refused to provide any detail of or ask her to verify whether it happened or was true. She was hired at a large raise by a much better lab easily before the end of her 2 week notice.

The people who had hired her and who had originally been great professional friends had become monstrous in the fallout of these events. They refused to manage their people or treat people as human beings with valid emotions. They had to hire two new full time people and one part time to replace my wife in the lab, because she was trained in every procedure and filled in all the gaps. The bottom line is this is what happens when no one cares in a work place or community. When you do not have leaders who stand for authenticity, doing anything they can for their people to ensure they are taken care of as human beings.

 

[Abstract]

Sorry to hear this. And the outcome. You are right that you are better off leaving.

 

[Britt.f7]

I'm glad you are alright! What a horrible situation. Hearing your story I was thinking you probably weren't the first that this lady(loosely) handled poorly. I'm sorry you both were fired, but, you do seem to have a good attitude about that part. I've had bad bosses in the past. They can make an otherwise enjoyable job stink.

Good luck on your new adventure.

 

[Philippa]

Dreamsofmydeath, you are so right about what you said in the last sentence of your post...and I'm sorry that was the outcome and experience for both you and your wife. It sucks, the boss and company only care about saving their own asses, but expect you to protect them as well by saying nothing...as i was encouraged yesterday to do by both the boss and two of her friends who also own businesses nearby.

I just sent a text reply to her a few minutes ago, after she sent one asking for me to post the key to her. I said I officially no longer care where the key is, that I don't have it and that if she had been more of a manager and boss in the first place the bully would not have felt she can just take the reigns and act like she's the boss and one in authority...and then said "Learn to embrace your authority. Do you have any idea how open you leave yourself to being robbed by your own staff." (If money was down in the till, she would rationalize it away to being her fault somehow, or her being a ditz, and would say this in front of me and any other staff present. If we had been of lower characters, it would have been so easy to just keep taking money out of the til and depend on her to blame herself for the discrepancy.

I'm just so angry still. I'm livid. Even more so that I did not insist on her giving me a formal contract at the very start of my time there. I'd only been there about 2 and a half weeks, and things were a bit chaotic, so I gave her time to come through with it, but now I know the next time I will insist on it being signed the same day or very next day, because it leaves me without a leg to stand on or any kind of rights for when this sort of thing happens.

 

[Philippa]

I'm glad you are alright! What a horrible situation. Hearing your story I was thinking you probably weren't the first that this lady(loosely) handled poorly.

Actually, I think I am the first in that particular workplace who she felt she could cross without too much consequence. The other women there would have pulled knives out and stabbed her ass if she'd done that to them. I'm confrontational to a degree, but it all happened so fast and I was trying my best to diffuse it and bring it back down to rational talk, but once that fire is lit in a person, anything you say only tends to fan the flames...so I realize where I did not act in the most effective way communication wise.

I'm not the sort to pull a knife on someone and threaten their safety back, though I do realize it is necessary at times. I just wasn't prepared for this to happen and assessing the situation, I probably would have done more damage to myself if I had have fought back.
She's a pretty big, butch woman, and has connections in the lesbian biker scene...not someone I want to f*ck with.

I'm sorry you both were fired, but, you do seem to have a good attitude about that part. I've had bad bosses in the past. They can make an otherwise enjoyable job stink.

Thanks. The boss (who wasn't really a boss) was a nice person. I enjoyed working for her at first, but it just became so apparent that she doesn't know what she's doing and depends on everyone else to make her decisions for her. She is more shy of her own authority than I am. If she had taking her role more seriously, instead of wanting to be friends with all of us, then this might not have happened...and I said as much to her just earlier.

Good luck on your new adventure.

Thankyou kindly. It will be an adventure indeed. One door closes, another one opens that leads to better things....that's how i like to think about it.

 

[Philippa]

The ex (not) boss just replied and said there are two sides to every story and I grabbed her arm first...which I did...to defend myself as she was getting in my face and looked like she was going to hit me. I grabbed her wrist to prevent her from doing that as it was raised in the air and apparently that is considered as bad as slamming someone up against the wall with your forearm and choking them.

Unbelievable.

 

[Philippa]

I don't know what to do here.

I'm gonna lose my shit! I just found out that she didn't really fire the other woman...as I suspected. She just told me that because she wanted to avoid trouble. Well, now she's found it. I'm so afraid of what I might do right now.

So, this bullying bitch who attacked and physically assaulted me is still working five days there, and I've been fired as the troublemaker??? WTF??

 

[Philippa]

I'm gonna punch something.

 

[CrazyHorse]

I really understand your anger, Philippa! It is such extremely unfair treatment!