Other I Was Robbed In My Car 8 Months Ago

[anonymous19]

I made a few personal mistakes in my life. One of them got me robbed in my car. Without going into too much detail, up until recently I had been going through a phase of questioning my sexuality and decided to experiment on and off for a while. One time, a guy scammed me and robbed me saying if I didn't give him all the money he wanted, he would have me shot. At the end, he finally left me and I rushed home and locked my door. This was almost 9 months ago already. I was fine up until last week (I have PTSD from another incident not involving crime too). I didn't report it to the police because I was embarrassed and I didn't want to stir any trouble. But in order to get the money, I had to go back to my house with HIM in the car. So you can understand. Problem is, I don't know if it is safe to tell my therapist because we were in a car during the "experiment". It was dark, on a neighborhood road. No one walked by and saw anything. So is it safe?

 

[joeylittle]

I'm sorry, this is a bit hard to follow. Safe for what? Why wouldn't it be safe to tell your therapist, and what does it being dark and no-one seeing have to do with it?

I'm really sorry you were robbed - can you just explain your problem more clearly?

 

[anonymous19]

Is it safe to tell my therapist about what happened and she will keep it in confidence is what I mean.

By dark, I mean when we were in the car no one could have seen the "experiment". I wasn't sure if I did something illegal too is what I meant.

 

[joeylittle]

Your therapist is bound by ethics and often law to keep your sessions confidential. If you are a minor, I think you need to check the laws in your area.

More importantly, I think it is clear that you need to talk this out with someone. Do you trust your therapist? Do they have experience with trauma?

When you say in order to get the money you had to go back to your house with him in the car, do you mean he forced you to drive home and get money for him? I get why you would feel embarrassed about all this, but really, it doesn't sound to me like you have done anything wrong. You engaged in some reckless behavior, but that doesn't warrant getting robbed.

 

[anonymous19]

I knew the only way to get enough money would be to drive back to my house and call my bank with the information I need to get it. So I did, with him waiting in the car.

I do trust my therapist, like I said I have PTSD from something else totally unrelated. I've been seeing her since. I just thought that because there was "experimenting" (sorry, my "phase" ended and it's too gross to call it anything but) was in a car that's why I thought so.

 

[joeylittle]

No, I don't think from what you've written that you have reason to worry about talking to your therapist. She should have your well-being in mind, not (in this case) whether or not you broke the law. I also kind of doubt you did.

Talk to your therapist. She will be best equipped to help you with all of this.

 

[anthony]

Problem is, I don't know if it is safe to tell my therapist

Whilst therapists are bound by certain confidentiality, they're also bound by other laws which override confidentiality, such as if "they" believe you want to kill yourself, OR, they believe you are in imminent danger / going to put another in imminent danger. Court order often removes confidentiality in the event of a crime being committed, in most countries / states, if having to give evidence. Oh... there is also a responsibility to report for minors, more often than not.

If you don't fit within those realms, then your therapist can't say a thing to anyone, otherwise they risk losing their credibility and possibly license to practice. And... you as well can limit what information you give your therapist IF you do fit within any of those, and thus you remove the issue from them having to report anything.

There is a way around all of this, and that is if you've done something bad, horrible, or otherwise possibly reportable by a therapist, you go see a priest, religious or not, and talk to them. Their laws are far more strict than therapists... and no court is getting through them for what is confessed and discussed in private with them.

Oh... and experimenting sexually is not a reportable offence. Nor is being robbed or such.

Just food for thought, covering all your bases as best as possible.

 

[anonymous90]

Thanks (different computer, different name I guess).

I guess I was just worried because since this was done in my car it would be considered "sex in public".

It's been like 8 or 9 months already since this happened. I think having OCD combined with being re-traumatized has just made things odd.
I already have had an atypical response to a traumatic situation. I have the ability to sort things out logically and keep myself from being too bad. Problem is the OCD puts my brain in overdrive.

 

[jcat]

I agree with what others have said about telling your therapist. I guess the real question would be if you feel comfortable telling her/him. I've suffered from PTSD for over 20 years and have had enough therapy to enjoy a semi normal life now. I learned long ago that you must have a therapist you feel comfortable talking about anything with. Finding that therapeutic relationship is a very big step toward healing. Your tone suggests embarrassment of the situation that lead to being robbed and maybe feeling like a prisoner having to stay with the person after the crime. I feel there's nothing wrong with experimenting, I did in my late teens. We all find ourselves in different ways and that's okay. As to what happened after I can't speak to that cuz I've never been in that type of situation. However I can and will always say that group therapy is the best way to really understand and start to move past trauma. I'm pretty sure you know you aren't the only person to have this type of situation happen. But knowing isn't the same as seeing and hearing. Is group therapy for you? I don't know you so I can only offer that up for consideration. I can only say that it did more for me in 6 months than 2 years of one on one. It was a heck of a lot less expensive as well

 

[anonymous90]

I agree with what others have said about telling your therapist. I guess the real question would be if you feel comfortable telling her/him. I've suffered from PTSD for over 20 years and have had enough therapy to enjoy a semi normal life now. I learned long ago that you must have a therapist you feel comfortable talking about anything with. Finding that therapeutic relationship is a very big step toward healing. Your tone suggests embarrassment of the situation that lead to being robbed and maybe feeling like a prisoner having to stay with the person after the crime. I feel there's nothing wrong with experimenting, I did in my late teens. We all find ourselves in different ways and that's okay.

Yes, I'm very embarrassed about it. Especially because after the experimenting (I did in my teens and 20s), I've come to realize that that's all it was, experimenting. I'm comfortable enough now to understand that I am, in fact heterosexual. That's not the issue anymore (luckily). It's just harder to leave it in the past now. I did tell my therapist that I experimented and she honestly said "I think it's great. I think it's great how this generation doesn't worry about labels."

I guess I'm also a little superstitious, like telling her would jinx myself and he would find me or something. Then the logical side of me says "dude it's been 8 or 9 months already. If he wanted to find you he would have done it already." You cooperated and gave him what he wanted and that was it. It's over now. Move on. My brain really is a battleground for WW3 sometimes.

 

[anonumous90]

Well I told my therapist. She was very understanding and everything. I'm glad I told her. I feel a little better now and my state of panic is somewhat better.

 

[anonymous19]

I found out that the guy who robbed me was arrested in January, about a month after he robbed me. 3 other people reported him and then a cop went undercover and he was arrested. 3 counts of 1st Degree Robbery and Prostitution.