Misera1013
Silver Member
I've been spending most of my time in the combat area, but I have several other traumas that you all may be able to help me with to. Sorry, but my initial exposure here scared me away, but I want to try again.
This is from June 3rd.
Well, today was not fun. Today was terrible.
I tried to make an appt. at the VA the other day to talk to someone again about this PTSD stuff. I was told that since I missed 2 appts I was out of luck and would have to walk in and sit and to be seen. It did not matter that I missed the one appt because I was in the hospital and heavily medicated and not able to call and cancel my appt. The other one I was out of state getting treated for the same illness and not home to receive a letter telling me when my appt was. There for I missed an appt. They did not care. They did not care that I am not able to go ALONE to sit at the clinic and wait to be seen.
Thankfully I have a saint of a friend who I recently made who is a vet and 100% disabled and said she would go with me. So, she sat all day with me there. She also encouraged me to call the patient advocacy at the main clinic etc. She was a wonderful support. I could not have made it through today without her. It was still hard with her support.
After several hours I was called back. I saw the same "psychiatric clinical specialist" I saw on 2 other occasions. This is now a total of 3, yes 3, times I have seen this lady. I go back. She starts off by making me feel like I am a big whiny baby for coming in. She has a rude tone, that is accusing. She continues to ask me what meds I am on now and why I have not been in sooner. I explain about my extended illness that has led me all over the country for treatment. She gave the impression it was no big deal. Well, my health and illness was a big deal to me. I show her my meds. She basically tells me my Neuro Dr. is a quack who doesn't know what he is doing, and he doesn't have me on any meds for my migraines. She won't put me on any meds, and wants all of my meds changed. She also wants the meds my family Dr gave me to go away too. I should not be on sleep meds. All my meds are wrong. All my Dr.s are wrong!! I tell her about how I am having issues in my life, in my marriage, etc with the PTSD. I am unable to go places alone, I am having issues in public, with strangers, etc. She says, "You have never had these problems before! You have always gone to your appts alone, and to work alone fine." I had to inform her that she does NOT know everything about me. My husband and I work at the same place and ride to and from work every single day. Also my husband has gone with me every time I have left the house in the last year except MAYBE 4 times. I also mentioned my attempted kidnapping. She looked at me and asked, "Did that REALLY happen?!" Uhhhh, YES it did! Then, as I was leaving she told me how if I missed one more appt I would never be seen in that clinic again! Also, that as a walk in I RUINED her day, and put her 4 patients behind! When I walked back into the waiting room, there were two people out there, and one was my friend waiting for me.
I was so upset!!!!!!!!! Mind you I did not get snappy, or loud, or anything with her. I can never think of things to say or come back with when people are mean to me. I think of things after. I get angry after!
I have made an appt with a civilian therapist office. I asked if the specialize and know how to deal with complex traumas and PTSD along with "combat" PTSD. They lady said, "Yes." I have an appt next Friday. I pray that they will help me, and not treat me like a piece of crap on their shoe.
Oh, also the me not being able to go out alone is just a phobia. We just needs to put me on some meds, and then taper them down, and take me off. I'll be fine. No big deal.
I have an appointment with a civilian therapist tomorrow June 10th. I'll let you all know how it goes, but I'm afraid.
This is from June 3rd.
Well, today was not fun. Today was terrible.
I tried to make an appt. at the VA the other day to talk to someone again about this PTSD stuff. I was told that since I missed 2 appts I was out of luck and would have to walk in and sit and to be seen. It did not matter that I missed the one appt because I was in the hospital and heavily medicated and not able to call and cancel my appt. The other one I was out of state getting treated for the same illness and not home to receive a letter telling me when my appt was. There for I missed an appt. They did not care. They did not care that I am not able to go ALONE to sit at the clinic and wait to be seen.
Thankfully I have a saint of a friend who I recently made who is a vet and 100% disabled and said she would go with me. So, she sat all day with me there. She also encouraged me to call the patient advocacy at the main clinic etc. She was a wonderful support. I could not have made it through today without her. It was still hard with her support.
After several hours I was called back. I saw the same "psychiatric clinical specialist" I saw on 2 other occasions. This is now a total of 3, yes 3, times I have seen this lady. I go back. She starts off by making me feel like I am a big whiny baby for coming in. She has a rude tone, that is accusing. She continues to ask me what meds I am on now and why I have not been in sooner. I explain about my extended illness that has led me all over the country for treatment. She gave the impression it was no big deal. Well, my health and illness was a big deal to me. I show her my meds. She basically tells me my Neuro Dr. is a quack who doesn't know what he is doing, and he doesn't have me on any meds for my migraines. She won't put me on any meds, and wants all of my meds changed. She also wants the meds my family Dr gave me to go away too. I should not be on sleep meds. All my meds are wrong. All my Dr.s are wrong!! I tell her about how I am having issues in my life, in my marriage, etc with the PTSD. I am unable to go places alone, I am having issues in public, with strangers, etc. She says, "You have never had these problems before! You have always gone to your appts alone, and to work alone fine." I had to inform her that she does NOT know everything about me. My husband and I work at the same place and ride to and from work every single day. Also my husband has gone with me every time I have left the house in the last year except MAYBE 4 times. I also mentioned my attempted kidnapping. She looked at me and asked, "Did that REALLY happen?!" Uhhhh, YES it did! Then, as I was leaving she told me how if I missed one more appt I would never be seen in that clinic again! Also, that as a walk in I RUINED her day, and put her 4 patients behind! When I walked back into the waiting room, there were two people out there, and one was my friend waiting for me.
I was so upset!!!!!!!!! Mind you I did not get snappy, or loud, or anything with her. I can never think of things to say or come back with when people are mean to me. I think of things after. I get angry after!
I have made an appt with a civilian therapist office. I asked if the specialize and know how to deal with complex traumas and PTSD along with "combat" PTSD. They lady said, "Yes." I have an appt next Friday. I pray that they will help me, and not treat me like a piece of crap on their shoe.
Oh, also the me not being able to go out alone is just a phobia. We just needs to put me on some meds, and then taper them down, and take me off. I'll be fine. No big deal.
I have an appointment with a civilian therapist tomorrow June 10th. I'll let you all know how it goes, but I'm afraid.
