Yes I wonder... I have been out of the hospital since January 13 after a month passed there. Since I have been out, life has been chalanging me. It seems there is a black cloud over me. As hard as I try to keep up my mood, life is chalanging me! Everything around me is breaking: diswasher, washer, dryer, the phone, my car and even the computer is showing sing of fatigue!!! My dog is not in shape - he has trouble with his digestion. I have spent more than 1200.00$ to get everything repaired. I'm alone to pay everything and I received my monthly insurance. I know that oversleeping is not helping but yet I don't have much energy. I know I have to get myselp reorganized since my home coming, I know I have to be kind on myself, do things I like, enjoy to have motivation to do the rest (like house cleaning witch is very necessary....) I have registered myself to a sign language course - that I enjoy, also a meditation therapy recommended by my psychiatrist. But I barely do things around me... do the washing - I do it when I don't have the choice anymore and I have a tone of it! I have to do the grocery because I'm out of everything! I was telling myself earlier that I should have a fix time of sleep - go to bed the same time every night and get up also at the same time, maybe that would help. I even note things in my agenda to do thing everyday. I know what I need to do but I don't do it!!!! It piles up and then It affect my mood. I have my next ECT treatment on Wednesday maybe it's because I'm due. BUT I WONDER... What could I do to just get a bit motivated, just a little so I could do little things, small step to get big step accomplish at the end!