Identifying As A Victim

[Gs172003]

I suspect , like many things, this is influenced by ones start point or default point. Along with many...

This sounds like me. I know I'm not fine but tell myself all the time I am. It's frustrating.

 

[Gs172003]

I think for all of us, the words victim and survivor have some very strong and differing meanings. I fee...

That's where I have trouble. I'm not to that point. I have to still be forced to say no in certain situations. How do I stop that??

 

[Deleted member 541]

@missy meier It gets easier after the first time, and by the time you've said it 100 times it's like saying your name. No, can come in different flavors too. "I really don't think I'd like to do that." "I don't feel like that right now" "That may be how you feel, but it's not how I feel" And then there there is the f*ck off, and the good old plain NO. No, can be said without being harsh in many different ways. Even when someone wants you to do something that you don't want to do, you can always come back with, "I don't think so"

Practice makes perfect.... start practicing..... you could always just tell me NO!!!!!

 

[shimmerz]

I think that for me, the words 'ohhhhhhh, aren't you just SO the viccccctiiiiiim!' when I protested against something that was being done to me. It appeared that the fact that I was 'allowing' myself to be victimized just added to the glee of my victimizer.

When to a therapist on Friday. He asked me 'so was he physically abusive?' lol. I hesitated. Made up all of these 'well....... ummmmm' then stopped myself and said WTF are you DOING?

Yes. I was a victim. Physically. Emotionally. Financially. And sometimes I fall into the same old mindset. I am a work in progress. So what? Anybody who throws contempt around at me for that I have no interest in dealing with.

 

[Jules1]

These are trigger words, we all are victims and survivors of something, even true of non-ptsd people. I...

A friend of mine suggested the term Warriors was far more suited. Warriors of truth in fact. She said there is a book called that so it is stolen words but that seems a far more positive and apt term to me for moving forward.

 

[aut555]

A friend of mine suggested the term Warriors was far more suited. Warriors of truth in fact. She said...

Thanks , l was slipping backwards thinking of horrible things that happened in the place l am at, and warrior made me pop out of victim role into l am riding my trusty steed and have my sword and l am going to warrior along role.

 

[Kolten]

Valid point. I like to refer back to something my T told me a long time ago. She told me not to be "defined" by my diagnosis. Its so very true that we all have a tendency to want to do that in some fashion it seems. Just my opinion :) i like to just stick to being "me" As a person first :)