Relationship If Only I Was One Of His Staff

[discarded]

I spoke to my (ex)husband for the first time in a long time last night as his father is not well. During our brief conversation he said he was tired, that work was stressing him out. I took this as a queue to ask why and his reply was that some of his staff really irritate him at the moment, they don't take things seriously and point out to him that he is over reacting. My thoughts immediately went ot our marriage, I irritate him, he doesn't take his PTSD seriously and both of us over reacted a lot at times. My suggestion to him probably wasn't the best in hindsight. I suggested he should just get rid of them, as that is what he does to people that irritate him (meaning me). His reply "you can't do that in the workplace, you have to discuss things and work out solutions". I couldn't help myself and replied, "if only I had worked for you I would have had more consideration". This was followed by silence and then the dial tone as he hung up.

Does anyone else feel they have not been given a fair go in their relationship??

 

[safenow]

I'm the one with PTSD, but I must say, I don't think I was given a fair go in my relationship with my second husband. It wasn't my fault I got cancer. Cancer is not contagious. You can't "catch" it from your partner. It's not my fault I needed a hug. It's not my fault I have PTSD. It's not my fault when we first got together I was recovering from a trauma. He knew it when we met. His father was the one who called the police to come rescue me. He knew my baby was a rape baby. He married me so my child would have a father, but when he heard I would probably be dead in 6 months, he was willing to leave her and I alone to deal with it.

Thanks for allowing me to vent.

 

[discarded]

Does wonders to vent doesn't it. It really is frustrating and hurtful when we don't get a fair go from our partners. ((((hugs))))

 

[Bilby]

The way you responded is probably the way I would have responded too, Discarded. Whether that's right or wrong, I don't know, but I feel that if I'm honest, then yes, I would have responded like you did.

In terms of getting a fair go - sometimes I just feel as though anything I feel, or I need, comes last. What other people want, they get. Me? Not quite that simple.

 

[discarded]

Thanks for the honesty Bilby. Well I figure I am never going to get a fair go again as far as my husband is concerned. I am over most people thinking he is so wonderful (and of course to people he works with he is). I am sure that is one of the reasons he has never allowed me to go to any workplace since he was diagnosed with PTSD. The truth might come out if people realise I am not the one to blame for him not going to work functions and the like. He always uses me as an excuse, that I don't want him to attend, when really he isn't up to social stuff. Probably still blaming me as he hasn't told them I moved out.

Oh well. He says he is happier without me, at least to his mother who thinks he is doing so much better now that I have left. Mind you, she only came into the picture when I left and she lives interstate and has no idea of how much he drinks etc. And of course just like he does with his once a month visit to the psyche, he doesn't tell the truth. No questions to answer that way.