If You Could Talk To Past Tormentors, What Would You Say To Them?

[Lucycat]

I hope at some time you will be able to let go of the anger, as I am trying to do, and find a certain amount of peace with the memories of those who abused you.

I don't feel anger. That is an emotion I have blocked. I simply don't want to see or have any kind of dialogue with my abuser. He does not deserve it. If I came face to face with him, that is exactly what I would say and then turn my back and walk away. It sounds harsh, yes, but I am at peace with that.

 

[therisa]

@RussH Honestly, a person's religiousity is their own belief, and as long as, they don't use it, as a weapon, against me, I have no problems with anyone. And yes, in the past, I have had religion used as a weapon against me, by those, I considered close.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Karma is a bi#&%! I hope you get lots of it! You heartless nonfeeling......

 

[Chel]

At this point I would say, I forgive you.

I would say, clearly you had little to no understanding of how to treat people and for that, I feel sorry for you. I would wish you well. I would say, it's okay because I'm okay now. Sure it hurt then, but I'm not experiencing that right now. I was different back then. I didn't have any power back then because I gave it away. I didn't know about how truly intuitive and unique I was then and am now. Had I known then what I know now, your mistreatment towards me would have meant nothing. I would understand it's not about me, it's about you. And how sad it is that you feel you have to mistreat another. I would say, I bid you well and hope you can find yourself and forgive yourself for treating me that way. And if you don't, it's still ok. Remaining ignorant is worse than anything I could ever imagine.

That's what I'd say.

 

[Definitely..maybe]

I'd be interested to see where they ended up with their b!t$7y attitudes and disregard for people they thought were 'beneath' them.

I'd want to ask them how it would feel if their child was up again a bully like they had been. Hopefully smacking some sense into their head!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I would whip out the psycho babble and do an armchair diagnosis. Throw in a bit of "oh, it appears that you put others down in an attempt to make up for your own inadequacies, of which I can't be certain but I'd wager a guess that they're physical and perhaps even sexual in nature?" Oh, and no matter what response they gave, I'd follow it with "well that actually confirms that my analysis of you is correct!"

I wasn't bullied all that badly in school. But, the one guy who I remember being a total arse to me, well, let's just say he died a very freakish death on my birthday of all days. No, I don't practice voodoo! Lol. I think it was karma's way of saying "don't EVER doubt me!"

 

[asdfghjkl]

i wouldn't say anything, because they are too weak, cowardly, and small for me to waste energy on them. Sometimes I reflect and wish I would have told certain people to f*ck off, but I don't see any of them going to far in life. I see many of them losing out on a lot of life experiences because of their ignorance and lack of compassion.

 

[shadowchaser]

Sorry you felt the need to be a b**** in school. Hope karma didn't bit you too hard in the a**. You gained how much weight after school? Well you know what they say. Hope in one hand and poo in the other.

 

[maddog]

This thread prompts me to ask a slightly different, but related question. Has anyone ever used the empty chair technique in therapy to dialogue with an abuser? If so, what was your experience? This has been tentatively suggested to me as something to work towards, and quite frankly I haven't been able to sort out my feelings about the possibility yet, other than to know that I'm not there yet, if I ever will be.

Would be interested in anyone's experiences or thoughts.

Maddog

 

[Hashi]

@maddog, this thread made me think of that. I haven't done the empty chair technique in therapy in relation to my abusers/attackers, it hasn't even been suggested, but I've thought about it and I've thought... no. (For me.)

Speaking for myself, I don't think I ever will be there. The way I see things, my journey is about myself and ultimately nothing to do with my abusers/attackers. There's nothing to say to people who are themselves so mentally ill.

Other people's journeys might be different.

 

[maddog]

Thanks Hashi. At this point, I think that's what I think and feel too, though at the same time,I feel as though my thoughts and feelings aren't necessarily coming from a strong or stable place - stable, in this sense, meaning resistant to changing or shifting again. Theoretically, I sometimes ask myself if the opportunity to speak against them - albeit only symbolically - could be therapeutic due to its psychologically significant contrast to my entire real life relationship with them. But then... I don't know.

Perhaps it's something I just need to not think about for now, and if and when the time seems right to try it, I guess that'll be the time and place.

Maddog

 

[Me Myself and I]

I am sorry the only way for you to feel better is by making others feel bad, I am sorry you don't realize how sad and angry you are deep inside, I am sorry you can't find a way to help yourself and let others help you.

But for one thing I am not, I am not sorry you chose me to bully, make fun of, hurt and scare. Because if you never did I would've never been the person I am today!!

And for that I thank you!!

This is what I would say to everyone who did me wrong.