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Im Afraid To Be Happy

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Missy,

I think most of us feel like we are afraid to be happy. I can't speak for the rest of the people here, but for myself, I felt ignored here at times when I first signed on for this interesting journey.

Remember, it is also the ptsd talking. PTSD tells us lots of incorrect info! ! !

My best advice is to sit back, take 3 deep cleansing breathes and relax. Deep breathing is the best way to refocus and relax.

Hang in there, don't leave us and be patient. It will be OK and you will not regret hanging around.
 
To be quite honest with you........I really don't know what happy is, or how to achieve it. So I settled for having contentment in my life.......

So dust yourself off, step away from the bottle, and be yourself. Try and obtain in life the things that you are comfortable with, and that bring you joy. Maybe from there you can be at ease with yourself enough to allow yourself some happiness.
 
She Cat, that is an excellent approach to this whole thing. Sometimes we need to think smaller, and where the rubber meets the road. I can tell you're a fair way down this road.
 
I want to take some tablets to go to sleep for 2 days, i originally wanted to take 30, i was honest with my mum about what i was going to do, id done it in the past and slept right through for 2 days and no one thought anything of it, it is NOT an overdose attempts(pretty shitty one if it was) and she said if i did she would ring an ambulance for trying to overdose, which would get me locked up in the physc ward, so i tried to comprimise to having 20, then 10, then 5, then 2 tablets for 2 days, so i sleep for the 2 days straight(tablet is kalma) i just want a break from my repetitive shit going on in my head, i dont want to drink, i cant see my counsellor, i dont want to cut again, last time was a massive mistake, when i take the tablet i have NO nightmares and no dreams, it REALLY honestly is a stress free easy break from life, that hurts no one, i dont see the problem? and i said id only take 2 each day who am i going to hurt? what is her issue, i dont understand?
 
Missy,

The issue is what it's doing to your body. Drugs were made to help us and not hurts us. There can, and will be not only emotional damage, but physical as well, by taking more than prescribed. It's also a BAD coping skill, as is drinking!!!!!!

What you need to do is STOP trying to find a way to AVOID what's going on in your head, and instead LEARN to deal with it, by FACING It and learning GOOD coping skills....

No it isn't easy, we ALL know this, but believe me.....It's the ONLY way to get better...
 
well actually, now that you mentioned the dosage rate(which i TOTALLY forgot about) it says i can take 3 a day, why anyone would want to do that on a daily basis is beyond me, they just make you a mind numbing zombie that sleeps...hhmmm actually, i do see the attraction, but even when i was really bad i still never would have taken 3 a day, ive taken 30 once, then 10, and 4, and1 ,2 ,3 and 4, but mostly 2, the larger amounts(4,once for 10/30 was when i was just abusing myself), so i mentioned the dosage rate to mum today, and she said i could take 3 a day if i wanted to, to sleep, now i just have to get dad to agree, cause yesterday he said he wouldnt take me anywhere with the horses if i did it(no shows or trail riding), and i want to do both...i just want to numb out for a couple of days...its bliss, no nightmares, no dreams at all, i just sleep for a few days, dont need to eat or anything, dont think about him and what he did to me, its a holiday! :)
 
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