i'm always dissociated & numb, tips on how to break out?

Widow_of_one

MyPTSD Pro
lately been dissociated 24/7, almost always numb. can't enjoy anything, can't feel anything positive, can't do anything, i'm just so empty & dead inside and i want it to stop. i'm trying to break out of it, but it never really works. i've tried grounding myself in a healthy way (like trying to focus on sounds, objects, textures, exc...), also tried sh, works a little better but doesn't do much either. I've tried distracting myself with something unrelated, doesn't work. it seems like i'm completely stuck in this state, and the only times i can break out of it sort of are when i'm triggered (which happens a lot too, but i'm still dissociated usually) or have something really upset me that's unrelated. i just can occasionally feel happy, like very very occasionally. been going on for over a month so far, i'm always like this.

i'm sure like a lot of people here do or had to deal with this too, so i guess do y'all have any tips that work for you to break out of dissociation & numbness?
Yes I’ve been there. The first thing I did was change the things I could. Hated my job so I got another. Felt uncomfortable about my neighbor so I avoided her. Do what you can do! Focus on what is realistic given your assets. I am a live-in caregiver and I was stuck without a car with a demented woman for weeks at a time so I started baking vegan cheeses! I started saving every dime I could!
do what you can. Can’t excerise at a gym? Fine buy those elastic bands and use those!
what I’ve come to realize is that I can’t have crazy people in my life; tosses them out one by one it keeps me numb when someone who I don’t trust is in my environment.
it seems like by “moving out” you’ve become more aware of what’s going on inside of you; and NOT made your disassociation worse. Bravo keep gaining in any way you can. I think your discovering yourself and that’s great news keep going!

btw being triggered a lot is a good place to be in. In my opinion it means that your environment is stable and your subconscious mind is “open” so that an event can heal you by having an association or a flashback.

To break out of numbness: I want to be crystal clear: you need a safe environment, healthy positive fiends (I’ve come to realize that having “frenemies” stops progress). Just rmeber what Janet greeson said: yiur cjetral nervous system has one goal: stay alive. Not be happy! Stay alive! Until you make your environment safe nothing will change. Getting triggers a lot means you are on a good path. And baby steps don’t toss everyone out of your life at once!
When I have a flashback I wrote it down. When I feel good about it sometimes I do it immediately other times I wait a couple of days: I go back and reread my entry this time adding text that pops into my head sort of like building joint what was written.
 
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Widow_of_one

MyPTSD Pro
Have you asked alters for support your family of friends who are your protection and your survival and who you are. There is much DID art which helps exorcise the ghosts of the past open a diary for family and ask them to write and share feelings did art - Google Search
Hi talon, I suspect that I have “DID” it would explain a lot. Any advice? Like how do I find out their names, etc?
 

talon

Policy Enforcement
Hi talon, I suspect that I have “DID” it would explain a lot. Any advice? Like how do I find out their names, etc?
A good idea is to create a diary and make it to communicate for your insiders to communicate . Give them a sense of belonging as family . Littles are the historians and sometimes the whistleblowers if you have a persecutor alter or a sex alter who may create problems . The lady i supported had 20 alters from a teething baby ( rare ) Littles 2yrs old young teens older teens to adult male and female . Jeff was 21 and a protector . They create their names as they reveal themselves . Littles talk and write as children but understand as adults . My client wore spectacles but none of her alters did . Jeff was the only one who played the piano . It can be daunting at first but welcome them as your family and encourage them to communicate . They all spoke to me the littles informing me if client had not slept was crying or not eating . This helped to create harmony and reduce conflict . Don't worry alters are created to protect you . I will check in tomorrow . How many alters you have will depend on the trauma they need to release .Any way i can help let me know take care
 

Widow_of_one

MyPTSD Pro
A good idea is to create a diary and make it to communicate for your insiders to communicate . Give them a sense of belonging as family . Littles are the historians and sometimes the whistleblowers if you have a persecutor alter or a sex alter who may create problems . The lady i supported had 20 alters from a teething baby ( rare ) Littles 2yrs old young teens older teens to adult male and female . Jeff was 21 and a protector . They create their names as they reveal themselves . Littles talk and write as children but understand as adults . My client wore spectacles but none of her alters did . Jeff was the only one who played the piano . It can be daunting at first but welcome them as your family and encourage them to communicate . They all spoke to me the littles informing me if client had not slept was crying or not eating . This helped to create harmony and reduce conflict . Don't worry alters are created to protect you . I will check in tomorrow . How many alters you have will depend on the trauma they need to release .Any way i can help let me know take care
Ok what you said is higher than my ability to understand. Lately I’ve been hearing different voices say things.
for example, I was at Target checking out with 2 summer dresses. These are dresses I spent an hour finding and after I scanned them both I heard a voice say:
don’t buy the gray one
Now there was a line and I had no time to argue so unpaid for them both and left. I got home and tried them on and I like the gray one.

a couple of days later I was upset because the gray was tight. Then i heard a different voice say:
this dress would go great with your baggy top over it

Wtf?? Does this sound like alters? Any books I could read? I’ve read many books about DID and I haven’t gotten any names or preferences or talents etc
 

talon

Policy Enforcement
Ok what you said is higher than my ability to understand. Lately I’ve been hearing different voices say things.
for example, I was at Target checking out with 2 summer dresses. These are dresses I spent an hour finding and after I scanned them both I heard a voice say:

Now there was a line and I had no time to argue so unpaid for them both and left. I got home and tried them on and I like the gray one.

a couple of days later I was upset because the gray was tight. Then i heard a different voice say:


Wtf?? Does this sound like alters? Any books I could read? I’ve read many books about DID and I haven’t gotten any names or preferences or talents etc
yes but DID is often confused with Schizophrenia . But from the continued experience and continued messaging this could be DID because alters behave differently . For Instance i would request my client on a cold wet day to change and put on something warmer and more comfortable because the Little had dressed her . Crystal and Bethie both 2yr old's referred to client as mommy . So to communicate the fact i would tell them to put on mommy's warm jumper and coat to keep warm and dry . DID voices are non verbal in that they appear as unspoken voices and speak to advise or communicate something important . Whilst in hospital i had to educate to the nurse in charge that the child was present when the patient did not want the curry she ordered as mommy food . Once the alter is no longer in control then the client/ patient returns . I will provide you with papers i have written which many therapists and Dr have found useful. Once you understand the different roles of alters then you will understand but i shall first give you some more information and see if it helps . What i don't want to do is give you information which may be confusing . If you have a history of abuse then DID is the most likely explanation . Alters may drink to excess while you do not . Have different tastes in clothes , music food they can be male or female teens, children etc. This is some of the latest research which may help but remember these are academic explanations working with those with DID is the very best way to understanding
 

MW1

New Here
lately been dissociated 24/7, almost always numb. can't enjoy anything, can't feel anything positive, can't do anything, i'm just so empty & dead inside and i want it to stop. i'm trying to break out of it, but it never really works. i've tried grounding myself in a healthy way (like trying to focus on sounds, objects, textures, exc...), also tried sh, works a little better but doesn't do much either. I've tried distracting myself with something unrelated, doesn't work. it seems like i'm completely stuck in this state, and the only times i can break out of it sort of are when i'm triggered (which happens a lot too, but i'm still dissociated usually) or have something really upset me that's unrelated. i just can occasionally feel happy, like very very occasionally. been going on for over a month so far, i'm always like this.

i'm sure like a lot of people here do or had to deal with this too, so i guess do y'all have any tips that work for you to break out of dissociation & numbness?
I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I have a body split where I can only feel on one side of my body, emotions, emotional flashbacks. No sensory on the left side of my body. I can feel sensor pain, but not emotions on the left, including the brain. Even being addicted to nicotine. I only feel the addiction on my right side. I may, in some way, relate to you. I find that all the grounding techniques that I have learned have not helped. But I find some comfort in Meditation. The Meditation does not make the pain go away or relax me. Instead, it gives me confidence in regulating pain well. But it took me years to learn to meditate. I was so resistant. You have my compassion, empathy.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
What i don't want to do is give you information which may be confusing .
Then you should probably stop posting.

If you have a history of abuse then DID is the most likely explanation
...And this is exactly how DID became over-diagnosed and then, maligned. For someone who purports to be knowledgeable about and in support of the DID diagnosis, you're being awfully cavalier about diagnosing over the internet and promising help - which you cannot do on this site.
I will provide you with papers i have written which many therapists and Dr have found useful.
No, you will not.

You're not a sufferer or supporter; instead, you continually offer to help as a clinician. It's unethical and cannot be allowed to continue.
 

grief

Sponsor
You're not a sufferer or supporter; instead, you continually offer to help as a clinician. It's unethical and cannot be allowed to continue.
thank you for saying this joey. this person has made me uncomfortable from the beginning as she continually refers to herself as a clinician but also posts intimate details of her clients' history including their alters names, behaviors, etc. i don't know the precise rules of confidentiality as they are applied here but it seems borderline at best.
 

lostforgottensoul

MyPTSD Pro
lately been dissociated 24/7, almost always numb. can't enjoy anything, can't feel anything positive, can't do anything, i'm just so empty & dead inside and i want it to stop. i'm trying to break out of it, but it never really works. i've tried grounding myself in a healthy way (like trying to focus on sounds, objects, textures, exc...), also tried sh, works a little better but doesn't do much either. I've tried distracting myself with something unrelated, doesn't work. it seems like i'm completely stuck in this state, and the only times i can break out of it sort of are when i'm triggered (which happens a lot too, but i'm still dissociated usually) or have something really upset me that's unrelated. i just can occasionally feel happy, like very very occasionally. been going on for over a month so far, i'm always like this.

i'm sure like a lot of people here do or had to deal with this too, so i guess do y'all have any tips that work for you to break out of dissociation & numbness?
Basically, I have to let it play itself out. I get stuck in deep dissociation states and can stay that way for days. Eventually the trigger will relax some and I can crawl out of it. Don't try SH. SH is worse then the dissociation itself. Try DBT. That helps me a lot. It teaches you grounding and distraction techniques. Or at least it teaches me that. My therapist always says start with the basics. What grounds you? Start there.

I've been formally diagnosed with OSDD so this maybe different. Milage may vary. I dissociate very deeply but have a protector that sort of keeps me partly functional so, yeah, milage may vary.

ETA: Can I add that DID and OSDD are very rare.
 
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