Undiagnosed I'm Back :)

[myheart]

I posted a lot before as Kim500, and I'm back again for now. I amazingly was able to get the same user name. I came back on basically to share a rant I have to get out to people who will understand. Be well all of you dear souls! :)

 

[sun seeker]

??

Welcome back - but where is the rant? I was all ready for it and it wasn't there.

 

[myheart]

Hi there! I was thinking about putting it in a diary, but I guess I could put it here! I'm asking friends how to start a diary, it's been a while, but I like something more permanent that in my intro to share my rant. :)

 

[myheart]

Gosh I can't stand smiley faces, but can't seem to stop using them. I have a little dittie that I say to myself, "I smile and smile and smile again, until I can't smile again."

 

[myheart]

Tanisqu gave me all the info. I needed to start a diary, so you don't have to Sun Seeker! I called it 'Dear Lord'. If you read my first post you will see why. Rant coming up in the diary as per your request! hehe!

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Well a simple Hello and Welcome back from Laurie then. Hope you are well and :hug:s if you accept :)

Laurie

 

[Friday]

I don't think I was here before you left... Welcome back / nice to meetcha.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Still undiagnosed? Why not?

 

[myheart]

Hi there! Undiagnosed because for me it's all about repressed memories. I don't want to see anyone to bring them out, but let things be at its own pace. **I did speak to a psychiatrist once about things, about the anger inside, and this person was willing to work with me, but I guess I chickened out. There was so much anger, and bringing it up made me feel worse, and would, I feared, make me be mean to people, when my supposeded sanity is based on what I call "The Kim Show". Being kind and smiling. That's it.

 

[myheart]

A BIG ADDITION to my response. I am going to stop calling it "The Kin Show" from this moment, so I appreciate you asking me a question. I remember when my father left my mother, that he was with another woman. When I was older my mom told me that every day, while she did laundry and all the other things to keep a home orderly and clean, that she would be crying all day. BUT...when we (me and my sisters) got back from school she would put on a smile for us. That is not "fake", that is love. That is what I do.

 

[Ronin]

Nice to meet you.

Not gonna lie: it makes me plain happy to see people returning to places they once belonged to with finding that belonging's still there. Warm and fuzzy feels.

 

[myheart]

Thank you so much Kaia!!! I feel the same way about coming back! I can't say how wonderful it feels. Ever since I started posting again I have been sighing (sighs of relief, like a weight off my shoulders, I feel good, and grateful for this community.)