On August 10th of last year my daughter (she was eight at the time) came to me and said she was bleeding "down there". Long story short, she was molested that April by her step-brother, was being overly curious and created a scratch on her labia with an object. We took her to the ER because we were concerned about her mental health. They called CPS and the police which was protocol and we had no problem with. CPS did not believe us and bullied us into allowing them to take all three of my children and put them with my mother. they told us it was only for a couple of days until they got everything straightened out. I trusted them, because after all they are the "professionals". They made a lot of insane judgements based on very little information about us. They believed my husband hurt our daughter and I was covering up for him. We were not allowed to have any contact with our children, and very quickly realized our case worker was not there to investigate, but to prosecute off nothing but her own assumptions.
For one month I could only visit my children at CPS with someone watching us through a two way mirror. During this time we got a lawyer to help us through all of this and let us know our rights. Luckily on Sept 11th 2009 one month after they had taken them our lawyer was able to force them into letting me move in with my mother who had the kids. To try and make a long story short it took until April of this year for DNA to clear my husband which meant he couldn't live in the same house as us for all this time. We had to worry everyday that he would go to jail for something he didn't do. My children cried often begging me to make it all better, but it was out of my hands. I felt so helpless. I also had the fear that at any point CPS would come back and take the kids from me again. My husband was a recruiter for the National Guard at the time. He only had four years to retire with full time benefits. When everything happened he wasn't able to meet the quota's he had to meet and they ended up forcing him to resign. He has a job making only a quarter of what he made before and we are losing everything. We lost our car, we are looking at foreclosure on our home. So, even though we survived the legal end of what we had been through, we are still suffering the affects of it.
Every time I hear a car door outside my house, I think it is CPS, every time I go to pick my kids up from school I am scared they will have been taken. My kids are always scared CPS is going to return, and no amount of reassuring will put them at ease.
On top of all my CPS fears, you have the stigma that comes along with being accused of molesting your child. We were fortunate that most people knew how absurd it was, there were (and still are) a few people who think "what if". We live in a very small town so things were not easy to keep private. My daughter came home one day and said he friend couldn't stay the night with us because her mother was afraid my husband would kidnap her.
I don't want to go out in public anymore because I am always worried about who knows what happened, who is judging me? I don't talk to people because I feel like our situation was so unique and horrific no one can understand what I have went through.
I hope my intro gives you an idea of what has happened. Our story is so long and complex that I didn't want to write a book in my first post. If you have any questions I will be happy to answer them. I am hoping this forum can help me move past our ordeal and I will one day feel normal again.
For one month I could only visit my children at CPS with someone watching us through a two way mirror. During this time we got a lawyer to help us through all of this and let us know our rights. Luckily on Sept 11th 2009 one month after they had taken them our lawyer was able to force them into letting me move in with my mother who had the kids. To try and make a long story short it took until April of this year for DNA to clear my husband which meant he couldn't live in the same house as us for all this time. We had to worry everyday that he would go to jail for something he didn't do. My children cried often begging me to make it all better, but it was out of my hands. I felt so helpless. I also had the fear that at any point CPS would come back and take the kids from me again. My husband was a recruiter for the National Guard at the time. He only had four years to retire with full time benefits. When everything happened he wasn't able to meet the quota's he had to meet and they ended up forcing him to resign. He has a job making only a quarter of what he made before and we are losing everything. We lost our car, we are looking at foreclosure on our home. So, even though we survived the legal end of what we had been through, we are still suffering the affects of it.
Every time I hear a car door outside my house, I think it is CPS, every time I go to pick my kids up from school I am scared they will have been taken. My kids are always scared CPS is going to return, and no amount of reassuring will put them at ease.
On top of all my CPS fears, you have the stigma that comes along with being accused of molesting your child. We were fortunate that most people knew how absurd it was, there were (and still are) a few people who think "what if". We live in a very small town so things were not easy to keep private. My daughter came home one day and said he friend couldn't stay the night with us because her mother was afraid my husband would kidnap her.
I don't want to go out in public anymore because I am always worried about who knows what happened, who is judging me? I don't talk to people because I feel like our situation was so unique and horrific no one can understand what I have went through.
I hope my intro gives you an idea of what has happened. Our story is so long and complex that I didn't want to write a book in my first post. If you have any questions I will be happy to answer them. I am hoping this forum can help me move past our ordeal and I will one day feel normal again.
