I'm Embarrassed

[Nicci777]

Well I started screaming "I need this to be over!!!" While in the bathroom after just screaming at the top of my lungs.. Thinking of my two children who were molested repeatedly..I was too. Now I have to face this pedophile.. I ran into the kitchen, grabbed a chair and beat it repeatedly against the cupboards until it cracked up the middle. I threw the courts onto the floor and climbed under the table and cried and cried..
My husband brought me the cabbage patch doll and carebears I just bought. I curled up and hugged them tight with tears soaking my clothes..
I'm scared and I disassociate..
This happened yesterday before church.. Didn't go to church lol... Can't carry my doll.. Guess she is Chloe. He hurt her for 3 years.. The court system failed. I keep seeing his face. Last night I couldn't stop thinking about getting a gun and blowing his f*cking brains out..

 

[Nicci777]

I did go to acupuncture today and it was calming... But I am barely here.. The pain and rage brewing.. But floaty and controlled for now.

And I'm sorry for hurting anyone's feelings on here. I didn't want to face these traumas completely. Now I'm in it. Some of the posts triggered me and I'm an empath. I care so deeply.

 

[Stickler]

I hear you hon. Don't act on those ideas, but it's totally ok and pretty normal to have them.

 

[Nicci777]

He deserves to die and suffer like my babies did. But no I would never act on it.